Skinny Husbands, Fat Wives

Sometimes you have a post you have no idea where it’s going when you start.  This is one of those posts. I’m guessing it’s a long road to nowhere..nowhere but fat bashing that is. [Edit: Now that it’s done, if you suffer through the beginning, there is some redeeming qualities at the end – AMD]

Usually couples match up pretty close in body rank.  You usually see men or women matched up to their rank number within one or so, or at least at first.  So good looking man with good looking wife.  Fat man with fat wife.  Skinny athletic man with skinny athletic wife.  It makes for stable relationships when you’re generally close in body rank.  That’s why Athol’s plan for improvement of body rank is so basic… if you improve it forces the wife to improve…usually, so you (usually) both end up hotter and hotness and attraction leads to more sex. True story.

I’ve got a number of male friends who’ve put on a bunch of weight while their wives stayed generally the same, which is to say, pretty lean.  This “fat husband, skinny wife” routine is seen in a lot of television hows and seems to be the more socially accepted practice.  Here’s a list of shows I could think of off the top of my head:

  • King of Queens – Fat Doug and his loud mouthed hot wife
  • Sopranos – Tony and Carmella Soprano
  • Family Guy – Peter and Louis Griffen
  • Game of Thrones- King Robert Baratheon and Cersei Lannister
  • Fresh Prince of Bell Air – The dad and Vivian Banks (Fresh Prince’s uncle/aunt)

So with the exception of maybe Family Guy and King of Queen, both sitcoms, the fat guy/skinny wife works when the husband is a strong dude or has Alpha qualities.  One of my best friends is a big dude (6’6″) who got way fatter after college, and his wife is a skinny minny, but dude is an super confident AMOG and could punch well above his rank if he wanted to.  This is sort of beauty and the beast theme, and I think part of it is many women are ok having a big bear of a man since it makes them feel smaller and safe.  If you are a fat beta man, with a skinnier good looking woman, look out… ticking time bomb unless she is incredibly grounded and into you for other reasons.

“Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean”


On the other end of the spectrum is something you rarely, if ever, see in sitcoms or shows but see it every day and that is the skinny husband, fat wife situation.  The reason you don’t see it in sitcoms is that it’s not funny, it’s sad.  And seeing it in real life is really sad too.  Now I totally get that women gain weight when they have kids and for many its tough to take off.  It can be done though, and many, many women get back to within sight at least of their pre-baby weight.  I’m not talking about the “average” woman who may carry a few extra pounds, but those that just say “fuck it” and eat their way into a MuMu as a preferred fashion statement.  Recognize that I believe there’s a big difference in those actively trying to get back to their fighting weight and simply struggling a little versus those who choose to simply throw in the towel and turn out to be mentally miserable (when being honest with themselves) and subsequently are miserable to their husband.

For a husband this is difficult territory as he’s afraid of the inevitable blow-up if he gives it to her straight, so instead Mr. Beta-Boy’s response is “No, I love you for who you are honey…I still think you look great!”  What else can he do?  And she doesn’t respect him.  How can you respect someone when you can’t respect yourself.  He’s married to a pig, and therefore he’s a pig-lover.  How can she respect a motherfuckin’ pig lover? That’s just sick!  This miserable cycle just continues on, she busts his balls, doesn’t respect him, and he’s walking on eggshells and acts even more beta.  I  can almost guarantee you men in this situation aren’t getting “laid like tile” and are getting, at best, crappy drip fed sex.

Their wives don’t see this pig-lover as having a shot at anyone better than them, so why should they shape up their act, sex up their man properly, appreciate their man properly and lose weight?  You can’t really call it baby weight when your “baby” is 9 years old.  One of Holly’s old boss’s had a wife like this.  She was pretty heavy, always seemed really insecure to me and sort of a battle axe, but who knows what she was really like in private (I’m betting my paycheck on l0w-sex battle axe).  Her boss, this sow’s husband, was a lean mean triathlete type and they always looked odd together.

However, despite men having less attraction for their fat wives, most won’t leave.  Some stay for the kids, some because they hold out hope she’ll turn things around, but most just don’t really think very highly of their own options or have stopped caring enough t0 put in the effort.  Take for example this article on some UK rag website by Samantha Brick (who is hated by the fat acceptance movement and admittedly is a bitch I guess, but supports my thesis for today): My Husband Says He’ll Divorce Me if I Get Fat.

You see, in my household being slim isn’t something to aspire to — it’s an obligation. As Pascal likes to remind me: ‘I married you because you’re slim — I don’t want a fat wife.’

When I read in a recent survey that 42 per cent of men would be less attracted to their girlfriend if she gained half a stone, it didn’t surprise me. What did astonish me was only 5 per cent of men said they’d leave the ­relationship.

For in my marriage, the brutal truth is: if I get fat my husband will most definitely divorce me.

Or this one: Help my wife is FAT!


I barely got married 3 years ago and in short time span I’ve watched my wife balloon up by at least 30 pounds.

I haven’t said anything yet because I don’t want to hurt her feelings.  … I don’t want this fat wife, I want the hot wife I married.

Or this pulled from the GodLikeProduction forums:

I don’t have the balls to divorce my fat wife — afraid of what that would do to me financially — and don’t want to lose my kids.

But sometimes I dream of what it would be like to reenter the dating scene.

I am very fit, jog daily and work out regularly. Very young looking 35. I could easily get an attractive girl. Have had many opportunities, but I could never bring myself to cheat.

My wife, while 3 years my younger looks like she’s 50 — gained 100 lbs since we married. Very lazy and unmotivated to do anything. She is no longer the woman I fell in love with. Can’t bear the thought of sex with her.

Men like women who look like women, not Jabba the hutt.  Fat is fucking gross.



We can live with curves, hell some of us prefer curves and a nice round booty.  But when the body rank discrepancy is high and you’re kicking ass and your wife is fat and not doing anything about it, it can be a tough road to hoe.  I’ve followed multiple threads on my “man forum” about fat wives and how they just grin and bear it… but a few of those contributors admitted that for their life, they had enough and got out.



Change has to come from within.  You, as a husband, can’t make your wife thin by wishing it or verbally beating her up or encouraging her.  She has to want it.  You can alpha up and improve yourself but sometimes it’s either deal with having a fat wife for the kids or because you are religious or whatever… or pull the rip cord.  Ironically, after you leave or get divorced will be when she “gets in the best shape of her life”.  What a bitch!  Seriously that is just a total bitch move.

So my advice for everyone: Eat Better!  Abs are made in the kitchen.  You need to create new triggers and new habits [I’m reading two great books right now that I’ll summarize in upcoming post(s): The Talent Code: Greatness Isn’t Born. It’s Grown. and The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business] to reprogram yourself. It’s resetting the norm for you.  I always point people to MarksDailyApple, which as a great Success Story page with many people with fat or health problems that got better by eating better and exercising….some really amazing transformations.  Robb Wolf is another great resource.  If you are fat or obese, I highly recommend low carb, whole food (real meats and lots of veggies) diet – as Wolf says:

low carb is fantastic for the insulin resistant individual, as it addresses both glycemic load and satiety.

Translated, that means if you currently eat a lot of sugar and flour and are headed towards the ‘betes (diabetes that is), and are hungry a lot and have a lot of sugar rushes and crashes, this diet is good for you as it makes you feel full while keeping a steady source of energy from proteins and fats (not sugars).  Once things are set, you may be having such great success dropping pounds you stick with this.  By low carb I mean less than 50 g per day.  MarksDailyApple the book (AKA The Primal Blueprint) gets into this as well.

Anyway, good luck for those of you who stumbled here because your wife is fat and you’re unhappy.  All you can do is control your own behaviors and actions, you can’t control others.  It’s up to you to have the “come to Jesus” conversation with your wife (stop being so afraid and really give it to her about what you feel about her fat/eating habits and what it means to your marriage), and if it get’s to be something that impacts your quality of life enough, don’t be afraid to make drastic changes (separation or divorce) as you only live once.  And for those starting the journey to be thinner, make a commitment and make it happen.  Don’t get discouraged by the setbacks, be cognicent that your bad eating habits have a trigger and reset the trigger. The Power of Habit book (which has over 1,000 Amazon reviews, most 5 or 4 stars) really is a great place to start in resetting things.  Best of luck my friends, some of you need it.

118 responses to “Skinny Husbands, Fat Wives

  1. The women who demand unconditional love, are the ones that don’t meet the conditions.

  2. +1 on MDA. Great post. I don’t understand the fat acceptance movement. If people accepted others being fat, and people accepted their own fat, then no one would ever need a diet or ever have to worry about it. But obviously, people don’t accept other people being fat. Even subconsciously we make judgments based on appearance. It’s basic human nature.

    And some people don’t accept their own fatness, which is why they change up how they eat and move and do something about it.

    Would it be great if people didn’t have to worry about such things? No, not really, because we are not radically autonomous individuals impervious to the opinions and censure of others for our bad behavior. We are social beings who want love and acceptance, but by God it doesn’t come easy. Everything good you have in life comes from the choices you make, pick your path: sobriety, clean eating, deciding not to steal/rape/murder – some vices are easier to avoid then others, but we all have to pick a line to walk and unfortunately some have a narrower path then others. Worry, shame, and censure do have some positive function in our social milieu.

  3. Love it. Great post.

    I think the ideal situation, most guys who have a good alpha-beta balance, and take care of their own shit i.e., their not fat slobs; their wives will likely follow suit naturally.

  4. Man, have you been spying on me or something? This is my life! I met my cute cheerleader wife at 18. She was 5’3″/130 lbs and I was 5’11″/185 lbs. A few years later she got pregnant and had to quit the squad for safety reasons (obviously). She gained a lot of weight while pregnant, but I was naive and assumed it was just baby weight. After my daughter was born, I couldn’t believe how much of the weight was still there and started to panic. She lost some of the weight with breastfeeding, but she wasn’t down to her old weight (maybe up 20 to 30 lbs). I didn’t want to be an ass and expect her to loose it all that quickly, so I let it slide. We were married a year later and she was pregnant within another year.

    With baby 2 came even more weight. Over the years she just kept getting heavier and heavier. After 15 years of marriage she is now 130 lbs overweight (officially morbidly obese). It’s like I’m married to the beautiful women I met plus a 130 lbs fat monster that has wrapped itself around her.

    She wants sex all of the time, but I can’t look at her naked. It’s causing problems in our marriage because I never “feel like it”.

    I have no problem with divorce, but I will not live without having my kids with me full time and there is no way she will let me have custody. As it is, I’m biding my time until the kids have moved out. I would love to continue to stay married to my wife if she could get herself together, but without physical attraction, we are just two friends living together and raising kids.

    As a footnote, I’m actually in better shape now than I was when we met thanks to HIIT and sports. I look forward to a life of hiking, sports, fitness and health. I don’t see that future with my current wife. All I can do is continue to improve myself and hope it will somehow rub off on her.

    • I’m terribly sorry about your situation, that must really be a tough spot to be in. I hope that you can find the strength to find have a frank discussion with her before it’s too late and hope she takes it to heart. Just finished with Athol Kay’s new book and had some ideas on reaching an ultimatum. I hope for you that it happens before the kids leave as divorce sucks. But we deserve to be happy and married to someone who behaves and looks somewhat similar to who we married. If not, pulling a ripcord and bailing isn’t unwarranted in my opinion. Good luck with your fat wife.

    • It sounds like you’re very active, have you tried to incorporate your family into the physical activities you like? Is there an imbalance in the work load here? Sounds like you need to help motivate her to get fit and change up the diet in the house. Have a heart to heart with your wife and explain you want her to get healthy for your family and for your marriage. She’s putting herself up to health risks that could threaten how long she’ll be around to see her kids grow up.

    • > She was 5’3″/130 lbs

      The was a piglet to begin with. And you’re surprised now with the sow?

      • Troll much?

        5’3″/130# is a BMI of 23, and if she was a cheerleader, much of that was probably muscle.

        • “much of that was probably muscle”.

          This being the US I would seriously, seriously doubt that.

        • I was 5’7″, 125 lbs. All of your women were fat compared to me. And guess what? I STILL didn’t get married when looking like that, because you men married and chose pigs and butterfaces over beauty. Fact.

    • Hey,
      It’s about a year later now, what did you do? Got an overweight wife myself so I know how it feels. And the fat monster is a perfect description: when we argue aboout my wife’s minging weight I tell her not to take it personally, the fat isn’t her, she is a thin person inside a fat suit! But man… it is embarrassing, I hate seeing her naked, she knows it. But the other day I found an old passport photo of her when she was normal, she looked super hot. I didn’t say a thing and just stuck it to the fridge with other photos. She must have seen it as later that day she simply asked if I want her to lose weight. Can’t lie so yes was all that was needed. She seems to have turned a corner, saying that she needs to look after herself. We’ll see. Anyhow, I hope that your wife can ditch the fat or that you make the break and get the life you want. It’s got to be one or the other. Oh, out of interest, did she pass on her bad eating habits to your kids or have you steered them in the right direction? I say to my wife that I do not want my daughter to lose self respect when she gets old, gotta eat right / well.

  5. Hi there Fat Single Woman who is losing weight here,

    What happens when a wife who is lets say 35lbs pounds overweight has a husband who otherwise caring is embarrassed by her weight, ashamed to be seen with her, complains about it, can’t get an erection because he’s not attracted to her…. grins and bears it. Doesn’t touch her or hug her, hardly talks to her and pleads with her to lose weight and bring back the woman he married.

    What happens when she loses that weight. I read the weight loss blogs….
    wife loses the weight… husband starts to say hello when he comes in, smiles at her, hugs her, talks to her. Takes her on dates, takes her to the office party, introduces her to everyone wants to show her off.
    Starts to hug her when she passes by in the kitchen.
    Is finally excited about sex again and can’t wait to touch her… except he wants her to want it AND be enthusiastic and happy about it.
    When just 4 months ago she was repulsed by it.

    What is she supposed to do? Say “yes take me now”. How does this work or is it that most likely she will be happier with herself and want sex too?
    I don’t know I must be a curmudgeon because once I see that’s happening I would be very resentful and he would pickup on that. And I’ be the one repulsed by his touch.

    • There may certainly be some resentment on your part towards him. Bottom line is you are attracted to what you’re attracted to. As the pounds come off he is more attracted to you and behaves accordingly. Do you have a right to be resentful towards him? Sure, but does it do you any good? Be thankful that you are becoming a better version of yourself and revel in that version. I find hanging on to negativity is counter productive.

      This is no different than how men who lose weight and become better leaders in their family can feel resentful that they had to put in effort to gain the respect and attraction of their wives… it is better to focus on the present, and future than to dwell on the past.

      You can’t fight evolutionary psychology if you are honest with yourself. Men are attracted to healthy weight women and youth and a wife who is enthusiastic about sex, and women are attracted to Alpha qualities which include social behavior, physical fitness and financial aspects among others. No reason to be mad at those principles that are hard wired within all of us. Your husband may have been less forgiving in your aspects than others have been in similar circumstances, but hopefully that will be water under the bridge. Enjoy your improved self.

      Good luck, let me know how it goes.

    • Honestly I’d just lose the weight, get super hot and leave the bastard for a younger, hotter, less whiny model so he sees how it feels when no one cares about the inner you. See if a hottie will like his old sorry ass.

      • Sounds like he would be better off and you would just get fat again after you locked down another guy.

      • Yeah that makes sense. Become a huge whale to the point where even your husband who loves you cant maintain an erection.

        Then finally lose weight (this never happens though, this part is fantasy), then RESENT him and dump him for a jackass who would NEVER HAVE GONE NEAR YOU when you were a big whale

        “Hotter, younger, less whiny model”? Dream on. Presumably you marry someone because you actually care about them. Packing on 130lbs and then forcing them to still be attracted to you, and if you manage to fix yourself then dumping them to go to some stranger is psychotic.

        Of course in reality, a “hottie” is actually a lot more likely to “like his old sorry ass” since we are talking about fit, established, 40 something year old guys here. So yeah, a 28 year old hottie ABSOLUTELY would want them.

      • That’s what I would do!

      • Why don’t you try caring about the “inner him” that isn’t attracted to fatties but you’re cruelly expecting him to just deal with it for his entire life.

        Dude should get rid of your ass no matter what you do, you’re terrible.

    • My wife started at a beautiful 130 pounds after 3 kids, and a decade of mild depression she was 205. Then she had a friend whose husband had cheated on her. My wife had an awakening. She knew she needed to change. I would never cheat on my fat wife. My fat wife didn’t let that security stand in the way of changing. She has a goal to get to 139 pounds. She is currently 157. This is amazing. I was just getting to the point of not being interested at all sexually in my wife. Now…we have sex about 28 times a month. We got a magic wand vibrator, she orgasms anywhere between 5-20 times per night. She is walking with a fitbit. She curls her hair, she holds my hand, she wants me. She is not as lazy, she actually folds laundry! She has cooked a few meals, and is watching her calories, approx 1250 per day. She loses about 1.5 lbs per week. I never gave up hope, but I almost gave up on sex and kindness.

      Don’t stop believing, I just hope it’s not too late when she figures it out for you to have a great sex life. We used to make love once a week if I was lucky, and it was more about me then her. She now freaking loves sex.

  6. Okay, so you’re saying that you marry women because of their appearance, get them pregnant which ruins their bodies, and then you want to leave because they can’t get the weight back off? That’s a dick move. Then you say that it’s okay for the guy to be fat. Sounds like a stupid double standard. If having an attractive person is the most important thing to you, then don’t marry, and don’t have kids or you’re beholden to a fat ugly slob for the rest of your life. News Flash: people get older and uglier, no changing that. Unless you’ve been pregnant, been through the medical conditions that can cause excess weight after pregnancy, then you don’t have room to talk. Personally, considering divorcing my spouse because I think that I’d be happier alone than dealing with the stupidity of men. He married me when I was fat. I know that he likes the skinny girls, so why he married me is beyond me. “Oh, women owe us to be beautiful and have sex with us.” Meanwhile, the man doesn’t help with chores or taking care of kids. He doesn’t work, his jobs consists of browsing the web all day unless he gets a tech call. OMG! Such hard work! I have to deal with the screaming kids that can’t be reasoned with, paying the bills, keeping the house spotless… Etc, and how do I get thanked for it? He wants someone younger and hotter. Marriage is a load of shit. And yes, I’ve completely changed my diet, and am working out 6 days a week, and my weight won’t budge. It’s frustrating. 1200 calories a day, and nothing to show for it.

    • Hey Annie you said ”’ Meanwhile, the man doesn’t help with chores or taking care of kids. He doesn’t work, his jobs consists of browsing the web all day unless he gets a tech call. OMG! Such hard work! I have to deal with the screaming kids that can’t be reasoned with, paying the bills, keeping the house spotless… Etc, and how do I get thanked for it? He wants someone younger and hotter.””

      WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MONEY OR HELPING IN THE HOUSE?? YOU MARRIED THAT GUY!! You said that he married you fat. OK but you married him with his attitude and his Job/Unemployed. Here we talk about FAT. If you are a Fat woman, how the heck a normal Man could want to have sex with you?

      Do you know that when men look a sexy woman’s body they release a chemical in their brain like Cocaine??
      And when they look a Fat woman’s body they don’t produse this chemical BUT the part of their brain that is working is the part that messure size. Scientist make that experiment. Also womens mine doesn’t release this chemical when they look a fit man’s body. You can’t make your man want you if you are fat and if you have an attitude of a Dude. Period. Some Men have fetishes and maybe want a dominant fat woman. but not a normal man.

      • A normal man? So normal men only date/marry/like skinny women?
        Are you a Republican? Did you know Jesus was black?

        • @ Keegan Yes a NORMAL MAN. Normal men won’t choose a fat woman which is like a pig for sex. They will choose a normal weight or skinny woman for sex. This is my opinion. Like it or Not. Love is another story. You mention that Jesus was Black. I don’t care if he was Black or White, Red Or Yellow. Who cares about his color.

        • >Are you a Republican?

          What does being an intelligent and fisally responsible voter have to do with the sad state of affairs in which most men find themselves: legally bound to a disgusting, repulsive, waddling, complaining SOW? Or, is that only for Demorats and other such Ovomit-voting whining liberal fools?

      • …was earnestly reading this until I got up to ‘also women’s mine doesn’t release this chemical’ which made me 1) realize the author is obviously

        comedian, so I 2) went back to masturbating to my Channing Tatum DVD c

    • Actually no, having kids doesn’t make you fat. I have had 3 kids in 3 1/2 years. I actually weigh 5 pounds less (110 at 5/2) than when I met my husband ) and have a lower body fat % from incorporating a lot of weight training and HIIT into my lifestyle in the last few years. Yes, it’s certainly WAY harder to find the time, but if you want it, you’ll do it! If your own health, your marriage, and your children are worth it, you find the way.

  7. You sound pretty shallow. That’s too bad. I respect other people, it’s obvious with your labeling and name calling, you don’t. Sorry Adolf. I have a very fat wife, and I am physically fit. She turns me on – I am stuck in the upright position whenever I am around her, and I’ve been married 20 years to her. Skinny, athletic women don’t turn me on. (sorry). But I won’t label them or call them names. She might not jog with me, or go biking, and I don’t sew or craft as she does, but we have an intimacy whenever we are together, wherever we go and whatever we’re doing together. It sounds like you will never achieve this type of satisfaction.

    • I married my husband when i was fat, im still fat now. His previous girls were thin/athletic. He’s a ‘normal guy’ and guess what? He married ME, not the skinny chicks. Previous poster John got it right. Love and marriage should be about so so much more than ‘oh my wife is too fat to poke with Mr. Happy, lemmie find some tiny bitch to stroke my ego’, a lasting commitment needs acceptance and attachment. With thoughts of fat=c’ya!, its no wonder the divorce rate is so high. We may be fat, but its clear who the real pigs are. Now squeal, mother fuckers.

      • “tiny bitch”? Wow! Was that necessary to make your point? Without this and your last comment, you could have had a semi convincing argument. Instead you just reinforced the author’s point. You obviously have no respect for yourself, hence your need to disparage a smaller, fitter woman as a “bitch.” I hope this attitude is serving you well, because it sure doesn’t read as thought it does.

      • Do you read articles and read your own posts, or just psychotically react?

        Your husband married you WHEN YOU WERE FAT…




        Who the hell are you to then cast judgment on those who CANNOT be attracted to a fat woman (OR MAN) and find themselves MARRIED TO ONE?

        It’s insane that fat people are somehow doubling down and evolving into the MOST AGGRESSIVE “protected class” of all.

    • Why the hell is it so hard for people to understand that NOT EVERYONE IS WIRED THE SAME?!

      So quit the white knighting horse crap

      There are people that have a fetish for ANYTHING and there are those who can somehow see past ANYTHING

      I would *never* fault a man OR WOMAN who could simply not see past their partner gaining 100+ lbs

      The fact that YOU can and want “credit” for it is a load of crap. It has absolutely nothing to do with you being some sort of super hero. You just, for whatever reason, arent VISUAL in your arousal. Your wife should be thrilled, but that is of NO consequence to anyone else.

      Maybe if some OTHER thing went wrong with her appearance suddenly YOU would find yourself impacted where OTHERS wouldnt. You just assume that you are capt virtue because obesity wasnt YOUR trigger.

  8. Don’t give me this beta boy bullshit. I have a fat wife and she was fat when I met her and she is even fatter now and I love her to no end. As for the respect thing; do you really think I give a shit if some little internet hero respects me for my choice in women or not? LMAO. You must be completely deluded if you think I do. Truthfully, if we were to meet in RL I would probably sooner spit on you as give you a second look. I’ve dealt with your kind many times before and I have the scars on my knuckles to prove it. BTW, they also have the false teeth, bent noses and skull x-rays to prove it as well. Self-important little people like you just crack me up LOL.

    • You’re a tiny man, a twig among boughs,a mousey little needleprick bugfucker.

      • I second that…anyone who feels compelled to share his pugilistic conquests on a two-bit forum is struggling to convince himself, not others.

      • I second that…anyone who feels compelled to share his supposed pugilistic conquests on a two-bit forum is struggling to convince himself, not others.

    • Bullshlt. Admit that you merely turned your sow on your victims.

    • Hey tough guy… GOOD FOR YOU

      But guess what?

      This article IS NOT ABOUT FATOPHILES OK?

      This article is about the (millions upon millions) of people who just CANNOT get aroused by a morbidly obese person – both MEN and WOMEN *often* cannot get turned on by a huge whale.

      As a result… they DONT MARRY ONE


      Then when someone discusses their dissatisfaction over this, the “FAT LOUD AND PROUD” and the fat fetishist crowds come out in FORCE.

  9. ”’ I’ve dealt with your kind many times before and I have the scars on my knuckles to prove it. BTW, they also have the false teeth, bent noses and skull x-rays to prove it as well. Self-important little people like you just crack me up LOL.””

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OK mr. Cain Velasquez. Don’t beat anyone else! hahahahaha!

  10. You’re an idiot.

  11. I’m not one to usually post opinions on stuff like this, but this article is THE most sexist, insensitive and small minded piece of BS I’ve ever read.

    I’m not overweight, but how dare you or anyone say that someone married to a plus size woman is a “pig lover”. Not only does that make you instantly unintelligent, but it also shows your level of immaturity. Any valid point you could have made (which there are ZERO) lost all credibility the moment you resorted to cruel and undeserved name calling.

    You mention the fat acceptance movement as if giving someone basic respect as a human is wrong. You justify this insanity by labeling it some newfangled method of enabling obese people, but in reality all you are doing is finding an excuse to fat shame the hell out of women, poison the minds of naive men and then wrap it up in a shiny marriage bow to pass it off as some weak attempt to “better” relationships.

    Marriage is supposed to built on love, respect and a deep connection with another person. It’s “for better or for worse” not “for better or until she gains 30 lbs.” There is a difference between being lovingly concerned for a person’s health and being a selfish, shallow person. You sir, are the latter.

    I’d rather spend the rest of my life in a fat suit than to spend a minute with a man like you.

    • > how dare you or anyone say that someone married to a plus size woman is a “pig lover”. Not only does that make you instantly unintelligent,

      Sowbelly, this has nothing to do with intelligence. It has to do with disgust for bit fat greasy slobs. I want to lose 25 pounds too.

  12. Yes I’m a pig. Yes I’m an idiot. I don’t care how any of you live your life. But I’m telling you that fatness is not a disease. It’s not cancer or rickets or tuberculosis. My mom is fat. Many of my relatives are. If anyone is “fat and happy”, and I mean there is no self loathing or anything, more power too them. But society looks down on you as weak because you are. There are (usually) major obstacles to lose weight, major weight, and to keep it off. No doubt. But there are also a million success stories. Step one is taking the time and using your willpower to educate yourself and execute better diet. This was intended as a tongue-in-cheek post on the fact that if one side of the couple has a body that is way different than their spouse (man or woman), there is likely attraction issues, possibly even resentment. They often still love their spouse, but a healthy marriage isn’t that healthy if you aren’t attracted to each other. If some people can’t find some nuggets of truth in that fact, they are just as small minded and ignorant as I allegedly am.

    I use this blog as a mind dump, and as I pay for the hosting fees and all that, I’ll say whatever I damn well please. With that said, if you aren’t a troll and are engaging in constructive discourse that disagrees with me, or my conclusions, I don’t mind leaving those responses up (like the one above mine). We can agree to disagree. And if my thoughts bother anyone so damn much, STOP READING and go find a feminist blog that tells you your a special snowflake, no matter your girth, appearance or ball-busting attitude.

    • No, you’re entirely reasonable. When I fell sick with mumps and, subsequently, a severe flu, my partner took wonderful care of me. But because I could only eat food such as mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes and other carbohydrates and couldn’t exercise, my fitness suffered.

      Although my partner demonstrated his love by taking care of me, he wasn’t as affectionate. I was very saddened but seeing my figure deteriorate was worse. The instant I recovered, it was back to a healthier diet, portion control and exercise. The weight melted off in 3 weeks.

      It was hell but worth it. My partner is not only loving now but affectionate again. It’s about understanding a man and loving him enough to keep my figure for him. He fell for me when I was a US size 2. In order to keep him affectionate, I’ll maintain myself at a US size 2 for as long as possible.

  13. I guess the question i have is. What if your wife gets sick and is on steriods for RA or lupus and bedridden and can barely get out of the house and this combo will make her fat.
    That’s it then?
    Why if your hubby starts losing all of his hair and he is gaining more else where? What if one of you ends up with irritable bowel and ends up running to the bathroom all day long, not to sexy. What if one of you gets horribly difigured in a ar accident and is full of nasty scars? What of your spouse is diagnosed with manic depression and the medication used to control the disease almost makes them very fat-clozaril, anyone? What if your wife now suffers from dry eyes (can have vision correction surgery with dry eye problems) and can no longer wear contacts but instead wears these horrifically thick eyeglasses? What if your wifes boobs hang horribly after breastfeeding three kids? What if you spouse gets horrific rashes covering their body and medicine is poorly controlling the rash. What if your spouse gets burned in an accident and has melted skin on parts of their body? What if a spouse loses an eye, ear ,limb, etc. and it just looks gross? Let me add, i have never seen a sex 70 year old man or woman, IMHO. We all end up old and gross, reality. I guess the choice is to you stick it out with that person who is always going to look a bit older/uglier year after year or do you dump them and look for a hottie. Till their luster starts to wane… Rinse, repeat

    • Everything you said is an accident or out of their control. Eating to many twinkies and mcdonalds is very much in someone’s control.

  14. Married Too Young

    What if you did marry the Alpha Male persona? But he spent 22 years beating on you and convinced you after you were no longer a teenager he then had no use for you in the bedroom? He would rather look at Teen Porn then you. And the only time he wants to be intimate is if he is on something legal or illegal. Oh by the way the wife is only 38 and he is 50. Married her when she was 16 and he 28. Yes some us gain weight but some men also quit caring. They don’t want you after 25 and no longer get them attention from other alpha males. So you eat. He hits you then you eat. You find porn on his phone then you eat. Never money to buy anything and nothing like you wanted it to be. So food becomes your best friend. Face it men if you don’t want a “Fat Wife” then don’t push her to food. Be her comfort not the enemy. Believe me she already has enough enemies. Sometimes herself included.

    • Time for you to go eat some more donuts and ice cream.

    • As with all “broken people” trolling the web you are OF COURSE projecting your PERSONAL TALE OF WOE (and I admit, it’s a lousy one… you should RUN) onto THE REST OF THE WORLD

      The article is obviously not talking about a psycho husband who beats his wife daily and needs his balls cut off.

      I mean do you TRULY believe that every big fat woman you see with a fit guy was “made” that way by abuse???

      Because if so… HOLY GOD that just makes the article even better. Because now not only, as a guy maintaining a good physique for your health and your kids, married to a woman who just DOES NOT give a shit anymore, on top of having to figure out how to keep her “happy” without chemical intervention, you now have to worry that judgemental asshole strangers are blaming YOU for monstrous acts because SHE wont stop eating.

  15. Lamont Cranston

    I remain amazed at the number of people who don’t understand that attraction is only a part of love.

    My wife has gained over 100 pounds since we married. I’m not happy about it. But I’m not going to leave her over it. I’m not having sex with her either. Fat is not attractive.

  16. I’ve been married 14 years. My wife has “let herself go”, and has gained about 75 pounds since we married. Our son is 13. It can’t be called baby fat anymore now that he is a teenager. It’s frustrating to me as I am a very physically fit and active middle age guy. I’m pretty much the same person as when we met! I told her very calmly about three years ago that, “I miss the girl I used to know”. That fell on deaf ears.

    So I have made a decision to “let myself go” too. No, I am not going to get fat and complacent, as I enjoy my running, tennis, and my general health far too much. I am in the process of growing my hair long, and not shaving! Let’s she how she likes being married to a ZZ Top band member!

    Bottom line, I want her to see how it feels to be married to someone who looks significantly different than planned…..

    • That’s a terrible idea. Chances are high she doesn’t care enough for it to matter. Would she prefer you to look like a fitness mag guy? Sure, probably, but if she doesn’t want to have sex with you any more she’ll be just as content spending more time at the buffet, instead.

      Just stay in shape so you can find divorce her and find a new lady. Alternatively, just tell your wife that you’ve had enough and will be looking for sex elsewhere if she doesn’t feel like looking human.

  17. My wife is looks like jabba the hut but smells worst. Her mother is tiny and looks like yoga I didn’t ever see her being so fat

  18. Ok I read this blog and a few others like it the other day and now it’s all I can think about. I married my husband 18 years ago when I was 18 he was 30, I was 5’9 and a very fit 150 lbs. I’m 200 now. Damn desk job… I assumed my husband was ok with it but now I’m starting to wonder. I go through phases where I drop 16 or 20 but have been in a slump the last year. I’m a harf worker in other areas, keep a clean house, good care of the kids, cook , well educates and make over 100 K per year. I think perhaps I have used this as justification for my complacency. I started working out again and am vowing to ger down to at least 165. I wonder how many other men feel this way bit don’t say anything. Love my husband to pieces (have a very active bedroom life also). Woild hate for this to ever get between us.

    • lol. 150lbs at 5’9” is nowhere near fit.

      I’m a male that constantly weight trains and I’m about 5’10” or so. I’m not even 150lbs. You are delusional.

      • Negative. 5’9 and 150 is an average healthy weight for a woman. Especially one that works out with weights. If you are a man 5’10 and not even 150 pounds then you are a scrawny little shit.

        • You too, are delusional. 5’9” at 150 lbs. is NOT an average, healthy weight for a woman. If that’s your preference, cool. But even at 6′ and over for a woman 150 is most certainly not healthy. And no way that can be attributed to muscle, either.

    • At least you haven’t given up like the majority of married women in this country. Lose that 50 pounds or more and keep it off for the rest of your life but do it for yourself first. 5’9 and in the range of 130-150 is a good height/weight proportion for a woman. Don’t be like the rest of the herd.

  19. It’s funny how the level of fat hate has reached all-time highs while for the most part stemming for the under 30 crowd (Generation X-large) which by the way is fattest most out of shape generation in the history of the world. As I see it blogs like this are nothing more than islands of self-deprecation hidden under a thick façade of hate and attention whoring. I’m sorry that you and your fellow millennials and gen Y pork butts are all torqued up over your flabby out of shape selves but do the rest of us have to see it and read about everywhere we go on the net? If you little fat cunts really want to combat your ever expanding waistlines then you will need to get over yourselves and step away from your keyboards, cell phones and I-pad and do a few push-ups. Stop shoving your faces full of McDonalds crap and hot pockets and try a salad now and then.

    In case you don’t get what I’m saying I’ll spell it out in plain English for you wooden headed dorks. Your women and your wives are FAT because your whole damn generations are a bunch of fat fucks. You were raised to be lazy, electronic addicted, Oreo munching, pigs and as we can all see, you are living up to expectations. Maybe instead of bitching and attention whoring about the issue you could actually get off your big fat cellulite riddled butts and do something to improve yourselves. Maybe then the rest of us won’t have to see blogs like this piece of shit.

    • Grade A+ Rant Ironhead Jones! Well done, I’d like to see more of you here, and think you should be a blogger..I would read.

    • > Your women and your wives are FAT because your whole damn generations are a bunch of fat fucks.

      AAA. LOL!
      I see these hippos daily in the grocery or hardware store. Some poor thin married dork walking along while the enormous blubbered SOW waddles and wheezes along beside. I look sideways and wince, and mutter to myself, “You poor prick. How’d you get stuck with that fat fuckin’ SLOB?”

      Also annoying: the huge fat fucks blocking the aisles with “mobility scooters”. Check out South Park episode of Cartman on his fat fuck scooter!

    • Nailed it. Great Post!

    • Bravo! Couldn’t have said it better!

  20. Wow??? Im plus size Im 200 lbs ive lost 115lbs and most of u are saying that because im over wieght that im a ugly pig and my husband will divorce me? Hes bitching now because ive lost so much weight!!! Hahahaha its making him insecure! But still the point is im still over weight and because im over wieght im a ugly pig right? Hahaha! Im confidant , bold , working to get my rn and beautiful! Ur a reject! U must be one skinny ugly smelly loser! Let me see a pic of u! I got planty to show my beauty let me see ur fb! Hahahaha

    • Its good that you’ve found your happiness, although ironic that you unleash a stream of venom on the author because YOU felt insulted (an eye for an eye, right!)

      The FACT is that most men are NOT attracted to a woman that is 70, 80, 100lbs over weight. I mean is this really fucking NEWS?


      It is now WELL KNOWN that women cheat AS MUCH or perhaps MORE than men.

      Why? MOST OFTEN they say because the husband had gotten “boring”. “Boring” is code for they found a guy they’d rather fuck

      So between men who stay fit and “hot” with wives who become a whale, and women who stay fit and “hot” with husbands who become a whale, you quite likely have the VAST majority of cheating and divorce cases

      And before the anecdotal wonders using their PERSONAL CASE to “prove us wrong!”, YES some people become fat because of some horrific disease. YES there are a few guys around who say “THE FATTER THE BETTER” even though THEY are thin. YES there are women who dont care if a guy is 900lbs as long as something else is going on there (normally $$$$) and YES there are people who cheat/divorce and it is NOT due to loss of sexual interest in their spouse.

      YES, WE GET THAT! But the *majority* of the time for *most* people, a husband or wife GAINING 100 FUCKING POUNDS isnt going to be GOOD FOR ATTRACTION.

      Unbelievable it even needs to be said.

      • I love when people use terms like “most of” or better yet, “vast majority”.
        WTF would you little dweebs know from “most of”? Ironically “most of” you haven’t even experienced the world beyond your fucking computers. Your so God damn narcissistic that you think what you see and read on the net is a reflection of real life. I almost feel sorry for you; almost.

    • Your man is bitching because your obesity validates his low self-esteem. Lose more weight and guys will be attracted to you like bees to honey. I say lose that fat jerk because he wants you fat also for the rest of your life.

      • We have this thing called science. They do neat things like look into questions such as these and find out whether or not most people do/like X or Y. You should look into it.

        In this case, some clever people have already done the reasearch and it turns out, not surprisingly, that theanongo is right – most dudes prefer skinny women. If you like fatties, good for you. You can at least be assured that nobody is coming to woo your whale away from you.

  21. Yes I agree with the above. This discourse that its okay for men t be fat if they are ‘Alpha’ and their wives will still be attracted is kinda wrong and needs to be clarified. Having a moderately good income and being tall is not Alpha. Nor is divorced with kids AT ALL ALPHA. so yeah you cant leave your fat wife and get a younger fitter model unless you have some serious other qualities, young women of child bearing age dont want divorced men with kids. I have seen alot of men in the Manosphere trying to convince themselves that women’s only worth is their looks but regards themselves if they have some coin and are 40 + they can bang any hot chick if they are only average looking or even overweight. This is not the real world. I am 35 and married, very fit and used to model. I love my hubby but if I was going to cheat, which I never would it wouldn’t be with an average 40 yr old, it would be with one of the cute 28 yr olds that always hit on me. Women are now more interested in looks than ever before. Coin is still important but unless you are a bonafide MILLIONAIRE which none of you guys are then the ladies will be wanting you to be as fit as possible. The world is changing and lots of ladies are marrying and dating younger guys. So just to clarify: if you are an average gone to seed 40 yr old making less than $150 000 per year you are not going to be able to touch anything younger than probably 33-35 and even then you won’t get anything above a 6 unless she has other problems. Body rank works both ways.

  22. Yep wow’some of post on here are my life’my wife,i hate it. Been together 16 years,when we met both fit,ect;now id say she has gone from 65 kilo bout 5.7 to i reckon 110 kilo ish. Pheewwww been like it last 12 years;passing bad eating habbits on to our kids;im trying to nip that in the bud,

  23. Worst bit’and i hate myself for it,i hate being seen in public with her’

  24. I’m mystified by the fact that the author seems to think that cute women married to fat guys are pretty much ok with it. I get so irritated with my husband about this I could scream sometimes but would I say anything in public? Nope! I really do love him but I’m not happy about his weight– and he knows that, though I don’t hector him since ultimately it’s his body and harping on people seldom improves things. Yet he doesn’t do anything about it. He wants to have an exciting sex life and a good marriage, sure… but not as much as he wants to drink beer and watch TV in the evenings!

    Granted, I understood going into the relationship that he’d been struggling all his life to maintain a reasonable weight, so I can’t be THAT mad about it, either: at the time I supposed 10-15 extra lbs wasn’t a big deal and that he’d continue to fight the good fight. But, of course, as he aged, he had to fight harder and harder just to maintain, so he got comfy and piled on another 40 instead. argh.

    It’s also true he won’t fix it unless or until he gets motivated from deep, deep within himself. I can only accept it or walk away in the long run. Since I’m not choosing to walk, I strive to accept.

    So you could say that yes, I understand it, but no, I don’t LIKE it. It would be perfect if I could actually find 40-50 excess lbs appealing, but wishing ain’t getting! He does have many other charming qualities but no, they do not cause me to find his double chin visually appealing.

    Also cosign with the lady who said the manosphere is totally delusional about the dating prospects of the average middle-aged dad-types it targets, especially when you’ve got a bunch of rugrats to still underfoot. I remember being 20. Sure, a tall sexy guy 10-15 years older can look good and pour on the charm (…once he realizes he’s divorced and actually has to step it up a little…)

    But then, you ask yourself, how much do you want to be a stepmom? Answer: Oh, right: not at all! Ugh! Moving on…

    So, unless you’re Elon-freaking-Musk, your *real* partners on the dating market will be other single parents, with all the headaches that will entail. I know a lot of moderately accomplished, reasonable looking divorced dads. Eventually they hook up with… moderately accomplished, reasonable looking divorced moms… not tight bodied hotties 15 years younger. GTFOutta here with that! lol

  25. Call or Text Robinsonbuckler (+)1 971 (512-6745) he will solve your relationship problem and bring back your lover in 3 days…

  26. My gf is 5 feet and almost 170 pounds. She complains that I do not have sex with her anymore. I told her she repulses me because of her weight. I am not a supermodel, but I am not fat either. I just do not see myself fucking a whale. My life is so miserable. I cannot leave because we have a baby daughter.

    • Yes, you can leave. And you should. You will still have a relationship with your daughter and support her. Don’t punish yourself for TWO DECADES, squandering the years you are most likely to find a suitable replacement, just because you’re uncertain about the future. Humans don’t live long enough for that kind of nonsense.

  27. My wife is a fat slob!! I met her 10 yrs ago when she was 120 lbs , I haven’t fuckedher in 4 yrs . My dick will not get hard for a fat woman,,
    When I was dating her, i said don’t ever get fat because I won’t be attracted to you , we got married she had our son and never lost the “baby weight” she added mote to it!!
    my son is 9 yrs old now My wife is 5’3 and probably weighs 220lbs (fucking gross) . We are separated for 2 yrs now. She just had gastric bypass surgery done , but do you have any idea what a persons skin looks like after lossing all that weight after that ( yuk!!!) sad thing is, she is a great mother ! And she is very smart and makes good money !!
    She wants to get back together , and I want to be with my son every day but I think it would be unhealthy for my son to see his mom and dad just living together without witnessing any love and affection, she’s going to want to have sex,, and that is NOT GONNA HAPPEN!! And then the fighting will start and all that good shit!!!

  28. Across the street from my house is a married couple where the man is a handsome, retired Marine and his wife is a obese, cigarette smoking, soda drinking, spandex wearing cow. By age 40 she will be on dialysis for Type II diabetes. She was like this before there first kid so obviously he married her at this weight. Talk about settling for the low bar. It astounds me the majority of women in the United States are overweight to morbidly obese. This country would have the most beautiful women in the world if they lost on average 80 pounds. You don’t have to be a centerfold or Olympic athlete but c’mon, a little self-respect please. It’s ridiculous in my small Texas town. So much that I’m shocked to see a woman of healthy weight when I go to the stores. Being fat is not healthy and those fat acceptance websites are just validating lazy, low self-esteem behavior. Just think how many billions this country would save in health care and gas mileage. I’m no Brad Pitt but I exercise and eat healthy but sometimes I wonder what’s the use when all available women in my town are fat?

    • I am concerned that you don’t see the value in the fat acceptance movement. It is not about loving the fat, it is about loving yourself. For someone to truly change and make these kinds of changes that you all are pushing so hard for a women must love herself first. People don’t change their relationship with food hating themselves, they eat more. Women need to accept themselves as they are, love themselves first, and then see the value in making better choices for themselves (because I am sorry, she isn’t going to do it for you, it must be for her). You just don’t realize how complex the relationship with food it. It isn’t something that you can will power away. By the way the constant barrage of messages extolling anorexically thin women as desirable and at the same time food as love is not helping our society out either.
      Another point that maybe some of you have missed is maybe if she was thinner she would not want to continue to be with you…food is a fast friend in an unhappy marriage. You are so focused on how betrayed you feel on her changing that maybe you don’t look at the underlying reasons why. Perhaps food fills her up in ways emotionally that once you did…

  29. My solution is to jerk off to porn; a lot. After trying and failing repeatedly at the “let’s work out together” and the “I’ll cut out what I eat for you.” recommended strategies I threw in the towel. Realize the legal system in this country is slanted in favor of women and especially women with children. Don’t think women don’t know this fact and use it to their advantage. They know once they have you hooked and eventually married, the social contract the guy thinks he has signed is null and void. If she is content on letting herself go, that is what she’ll do. I equate it to being stuck with the check at the end of the night when everyone else has left the table. Don’t be fooled by crocodile tears and the emotional hissy-fits when you mention her weight or appearance. Women are masters of theatrical drama and emotional manipulation. As men, we need to understand it is easier to stir emotion than to stir intellect. If you filter through the advertisements and banal social gossip in Cosmopolitan, Glamour, and even Seventeen, you’ll find the nuggets of feminine wisdom passed along to their gender they mine out over chocolates and pricey fattening lattes. Women know emotion and drama, especially in public, is the best way to make themselves appear as the “victim” and make you appear as the insensitive prick. Look at Octomom or Kate Gosselin. In the end, it really comes down to what you, as a man, are willing to tolerate or give up. I gave up. Of course, the frequent doctor visits and consultations with nutritional experts (thank God for medical insurance!) are all pointing to early onset diabetes and organ failure. If her lifestyle decisions are her comeuppance, it’s not the man’s fault. Perhaps in a year or two, I can eventually put on the old George Michael CD and rock out to the song “FREEDOM!”

  30. I am overweight. It makes me feel awful, and I hate myself more and more everyday. It’s a constant struggle. I beg, I’ve actually even cried, for my husband to work out with me, but he won’t, it’s just not his thing. Sometimes when I do get into a workout routine he can get grumpy because I am not spending time with the family. I understand that this is on me, I am the only one who can change me, but I wish he would help.. It would make it a little easier. On another note, he says the weight doesn’t bother him, he still wants to have sex, but in my mind I just keep thinking how can he find me attractive… ?

  31. Why wouldn’t a wife do something to please partner? I am fit. My wife was hot for 6 years dating 2 years marriage. Then she started to gain weight year after year. Is clearly lazy. Doesn’t work out.. sits on couch surfing stupid pintrest shit most of the day. She knows she is fatter now and knows I hate it but still doesn’t do anything about it. WTF? If my wife said listen you gained 40 pounds since marriage could you lose it… it would physically turn me on more….. I would be watching what I eat and working out more right the fuck away…. Why do women hate it so much when you mention their weight. A guy is logical. Tell him something you want, and he will do it for you..if he cares about you. It must mean that women are just more ego centric and don’t really care about anyone but their self. Do something to make your partner happy. If wife says clean more.. I clean more. She says lose weight, I would lose weight. Why won’t women ever do shit to please a man without throwing it back in their face. I wish guys had a pussy and a hairless ass. Women would become fucking obsolete. Here is the bottom line.. ALL WOMEN ARE FUCKED UP AND CRAZY.. it’s just to an extent of how much.. Some more some less, but listen ALL WOMEN ARE FUCKING CRAZY and women totally agree with this. This is why women hate women bosses and co-workers. It’s a fuckin fact people.. Some Women will say same goes for men. Wrong all men might be a little crazy but at least realist and 1000 times less than the least crazy female in the population of humans. Men are wired Physically. Bitches you need to understand that. There is nothing they can do about it. They need hot ass to feel love. Men are wired to look at fat and automatically think lazy fat PIG. We can’t help it. Yeah there may be that 1/1000000 guy that likes fat pigs because he was masterbated by his fat crazy aunt when he was 7 but that is a rare occurance. Again…. If women seek being loved you have to at least be respectable looking in terms of weight. It’s embarrising for him to be seen with you around friends or in public. MEN can’t look at you other than fat and lazy. It’s so hard to love someone you can’t respect. It’s wired in 99.999 of all men’s brains and there is nothing.. I mean nothing they can fucking do about it, so simply understand it and put a little effort at what the fuck goes in that pie hole!

    • It’s so true! But I love my partner and would rather make him happy. He pursued me when I was a US size 2. No matter what, I’ll try to remain a size 2 for him.

  32. Hi all!

    As a mom I understand that it’s hard to get some of the weight off but we shouldn’t stop trying. I personally am not into the Uncle Phil types. I think husbands and wives alike share the responsibility to stay healthy and fit for their families. My husband is very considerate about that and does stay fit, generally by being on his feet most of the day at work and eating healthy. I can’t say that I am a skinny girl by any means, but I try to balance what I eat and workout regularly because I do want my spouse to continue being sexually attracted to me and be physically active with our 3 kids. It would do neither of us any good to be tired and out of breath chasing after a 4 year old. Prior to getting married there were several married men who tried to date me (without much luck) because their wives had “let themselves go”, I went to highschool with some of those women so I know it to be true, and I can’t really blame anyone for having a type. There is such a thing as genetics but on general both wife & husband should try to stay fit. I didn’t marry my husband to later be taking care of a diabetic person, to be worried about his cholesterol or if limbs will need to be amputated – nor did he sign up for that with me. It’s selfish to just let go like that. I know that I won’t get any femenism points for agreeing with this post but you’re absolutely right.

  33. So many stories here, so much pain and desperation. Mine’s a similar story; married 17 years, wife steadily packed on 90 lbs. I’m tall, 6’5″ and got into bodybuilding 4 and a half years ago, as a last ditch effort to motivate her. It didn’t help one bit. Being seen in public with her is humiliating as people look at us and assume terrible things about me. Living with an obese woman removes all the sparkle and joy out of life. I see normal weight women and can’t help but imagine holding her, carrying her and being happy just to look at her. I’m so sad I just want to run away

    • *hugs* Have you told her this? I can tell when I gain weight and my partner isn’t into affection any more. That was when I was sick with mumps and a severe bout of flu and couldn’t work out like I used to.

      He was supportive and took care of me but he no longer cared to be affectionate. Once I recovered, I went back to working out and looking slim and sexy. Needless to say, once men started glancing over, he got more protective AND more affectionate. I got my confidence back too.

      It’s all good. To an extent I gauge my weight via his reactions to me. It keeps me in shape. Why not take it positively?

  34. I don’t know why, but reading these makes me feel some what better about my situation. I have been married to a Manatee for 11 years now. She wasn’t super fit when we got married; she definitely had curves. After the first year of marriage she wanted to have a baby. After that, she gained 90 fucking pounds!! 90 MOTHER FUCKING POUNDS!! My daughter will turn 9 in two months. In the 9 years since giving birth she has managed to lose a grand total of 20 of those 90 fucking pounds.
    I have wanted to leave so many times because of her weight. Seeing her naked makes me want to gouge out my own eyes. Sex with her is about as stimulating as watching the Food Network (which just happens to be her favorite).
    I feel like I have been completely hustled by my wife. She is the one who wanted to get married; she’s the one who wanted to have a baby. Now that she has what she wants, who gives a shit what I want? I have tried everything from encouraging her, telling her I’m concerned about her health, to telling her flat out that I wanted a divorce because I wasn’t attracted to her. Do you think any of this worked? Hell no. As a matter of fact, she once told me that when I said something about her weight it made her want to gain even more. WTF??
    I am not a super model, but I’m within 15 pounds of my ideal weight. She is more than a 100 fucking pounds over hers. I don’t know what to do. I cannot stand the thought of wasting more years hoping that she will change. But, on the other hand, I can’t stand the thought of moving out of my house and away from my daughter.
    And contrary to what one of the women said earlier, most men in their early 40’s in this situation are not looking to drop their fat wives for a 25 year old hottie. I’m 40 and I would not even want to date anyone under 35. All I want is someone who takes a little pride in their appearance and that I’m not embarrassed to be seen with. That should not be a whole lot to ask for from life.
    To all the young guys out there, whatever you do, do not get married until you are in you 40’s. Marriage is the worst thing that could ever happen to a man younger than that. You will either be miserable and married, or divorced and paying child support. There is no such thing as a happy marriage. Anyone who tells you differently is a liar.

    • That’s not true. I wanna look even better for my partner. We work out together and when we go out, we enjoy dressing up, looking good, feeling confident and having a good time together.

      I look for new ways to add spark to our relationship, buy different lingerie and update my wardrobe with clothes that he likes. He’s proud that his friend thinks he scored a hot girl.

      Mind you, I’m 38. My partner is 5 years older. I’m 5’3″ and weigh 104 to 108 pounds. It may sound skinny to some but I have a small frame. The moment I exceed this weight range, the exercise increases and food portions are controlled. I also have weekly facials to maintain my face as best as I can.

      We love looking good for each other and he’s proud that his friends admire me AND him. It’s 1 of the major reasons he’s happy to be with me and boasted to his friends that there’s no need to go out drinking with his friends as often anymore.

      ‘What for? I have a sexy woman at home’ is what he tells them. It makes me feel like such a woman : )

  35. Hi,

    I am a woman in my 40 who is separating. I am not overweight at all, on the contrary, very fit and slim. My soon to be ex is a extremely fit man as well, very handsome yet, I am turned off by him in any aspect. He has been emotionlly and verbally that’s the main reason . So just want to make a point..that I can see how women or men can be turned off by their obese spouses..but that not be the only reason..a peron’s character and meaneness is just a deal breaker also..

  36. As one of those morbidly obese wives, I want to thank you for this post. I’m not usually a fan of red pill blogs & stumbled on this via Google, but it was the wake-up call I needed.

    I got married at 18, weighed 230 then dieted and exercised my way down to 185, but let myself balloon up to 330 pounds over the course of 15 years of marriage and 6 children. My husband assures me he’s still attracted to me & we have a good sex life, but I wondered why he stopped working out years ago & went from 135 to 190.

    I have been walking and lost a bit of weight but have been debating between using my “play money” portion of our tax refund to buy more clothes that fit me now or for a 1 year gym & crossfit membership, to keep me motivated and give me access to more than the basic equipment I’ve been using at the rec center. Looks like it’ll be the gym.

  37. I really wish I had the chance to talk to your wife woman to woman. Besides the weight, every wife needs to keep their house very clean, cook breakfast, lunch and dinner for their family and give that love to their husbands. I am very thankful with God that I read this. I am the obese wife married to a very responsible and loving husband. We meet 5 years ago and I was still obese. Same weight as today. I am 5 ft 6 weight 250. And Im angry at myself for still being this way. Blaming that I can’t lose weight due to the death of our son and giving birth to two other children. I pretend to be happy and I am not looking this way. I always get the your beautiful from many people even strangers but it stops there. And our sex life is wonderful but it could be better. We have a great time sometimes many times a week and we never go longer than 2 weeks. Of course it would be great to be able to do other positions more than 7. But I don’t want my husband to get tired of me looking this way. He never dated fat or obese woman before me but he tells me he loves me dearly. And you dont have to name call your wife. why dont you talk to her and tell her how you feel. Yes at first she will be angry and upset but she will be thinking a out it over and over again until she does something. And lol i dont look like jab ba th the hut. but besides being pretty i want to look g ood. So I started eating healthy a very clean diet and I already lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks. It’s not much but it’s a start of a healthier me. Im only 24 years old. I just hope that your wife realizes that we are all worth it and we all deserve a healthy life. Yes I know it’s not easy but I’m giving the best of me. God Bless and try taking your wife to counseling. Hopefully talking to a couselor would open her eyes. I wish you the best.

  38. Anonymous Husband

    What about when the once skinny as hell wife gains 40 lbs after 2 kids but the husband still thinks she’s absolutely gorgeous (albeit in a different way) but any compliments or positive comments are ignored or responded to with “well I don’t feel that way”? That seems exhausting…

  39. I’ve read some of these comments. Some are downright rude and others are constructive. I Work out tirelessly. Have for over 20 years plus I’m a landscaper. I’m Pretty effing fit and know my way around a gym. Not everyone is going to do what I do. I get that. My wife has also gained weight. Being on prednisone will do that plus having 2 children. She is not obese and for 47 still pretty good looking. She has a multitude of health issues but still exercises. My gripe is with men and women who have the ability to better them selves and purposely choose not too because they are plain lazy. Get the hell off facebook, stop playing candy crush, put down the third cupcake and take a walk!!!!! That’s what disgusts me. People who can help themselves that don’t. My wife has JRA. Junior rheumatoid arthritis. Multiple surgeries from the age of 2 til now. Get off your asses!!!

  40. Another thing is you need to stop looking for validation from others and looking for motivation outside of yourself. You and only you can make the change. when working out burns and hurts a little is when the workout starts. Expelling energy creates more energy and I guarantee if you keep up with it, you will feel better about your self and others will notice too. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it. My wife was told she would never walk and having children was out of the question. She walks, has 2 children, drives, and considering her issues, pretty independent. She proved all her doctors wrong. Fake hips, knees, ankles and wrists fused, neck fused , being on her death bed twice. Forgive me if I don’t sound compassionate to others but after seeing what ive seen, it can be done! She has worked at it and won. Hearing some lame ass excuses out of a few people here is pathetic. No more excuses. Do it!

  41. What a fabulous post!!!

    I think my husband now wishes I kept my baby weight on. When I was chubbier he played a good game of “dread”. Women would hit on him more than men would hit on me and it turned me on. I would blow my husband every night.

    Fast forward 5 years and now I’m a competitive fitness model. Life isn’t so good for my husband anymore. The attention I’m getting from other bodybuilders is fixing my sexual desire. I finally get why beautiful women are starfish in bed because they can be and they know there is a line up waiting for them.

    Gentleman maybe be grateful for you fat pig, she will be loyal forever and look up to you like her sex God. I know I did.

    My husband now absolutely loves looking at me but sex isn’t quite the same anymore. He’s not my King anymore because I know I can do a thousand times better (shallow I know but most men will get this because they are just as shallow). My expectations are much higher now…to get my rocks off you need to The Rock or Jason Mamoa.

  42. LOL this chick is full of shit. Even if we were to assume she’s not, the underlying message is crap.

    “Husbands, be grateful your wives are fat because that means she will have less options to cheat on you”.

    A woman doesn’t have to be fit or attractive to cheat. If anything, fat women tend to engage in no-strings attached sex more according to statistics. Men will keep a preference for thin women, thanks. If your husband is so beneath you now as you put it, then why don’t you just leave. Its clear your attitude towards him at this point is, at best, condescending.

    If its so easy for you to get one of these bodybuilder types, why don’t you?

  43. Dude… Thank you! Nice post! Took me forever to find it amongst all the “fat acceptance” bullshit, though. Smh. Fat is NOT and will NEVER be sexy… at least not with the majority of people. I mean, c’mon, fat people know this at a deep level! I knew this, when I was 180 lbs. I wasn’t attracted to fat people even when I was fat.
    Thing is, I lost weight and got in shape for myself. Not for society, men, or women. For my own happiness sake. Life is just so much better when you feel physically awesome, and can look in the mirror and be like, damn girl… you look HAWT! ^_^ And not be lying to yourself, OMG!!! All these women around me saying they can be sexy at any size. o.O Amazing, the ability for the human ego to lie to itself and ignore facts.
    Oh, and now that I’m a sexy 120 at 5’6″… and happy in my own skin… I get massive hate from other girls. It sucks! I’m respectful with everyone I meet, no matter what their size, because if I don’t know the person, I don’t feel the right to give them advice. But it’s insane how much I’m made to feel like I’m wrong for being fit, lol. This world is so fucking backwards.
    I learned that the key to a great relationship with another person, is to first have a great relationship with yourself. That goes for women AND men! Too often I see people get in relationships expecting that the other person will give them whatever they feel they’re lacking in life… and are disappointed when the other person turns out to be as flawed as they are. Fix yourself… take care of yourself… know yourself, then be with someone else. This takes a lot of work and effort, tho. So much easier to be lazy, blame other people, and get fat, then play the victim like you don’t know how you got big… or, it’s a medical condition. Grr! Well, yeah, it’s a medical condition that stems from you using your body like a trash can for so long that your body finally gave up!

    Anyway… This article was brilliant in its honesty, thanks. I’d never be able to post it on my fb, though, because all my fat friends and fat sympathizers would eat me alive! Maybe literally!
    I’ll just keep this little nugget for my own internal happiness knowing that at least there are some people who know what’s up. :)

    • Exactly! And these women think that we want their obese or horrible-looking, horrible-acting men?! It’s laughable! They shun us, talk about us behind our back , try to bully us out of work and courses and events.., why? Because ‘their man’ made a comment about our looks? The insecurity of these cavewomen is so pathetic. Meanwhile they, of course, the average-to-very-below-average looking women, are the ‘stay at home moms’ getting financially supported by the man, or they are getting regular sex while the beauties get nothing! And we’re told by men it’s because ‘I wouldn’t marry a beautiful woman. I thought you already had a bf’, etc.

  44. its kinda nice to know i amnot the only one living in a fat/skinny life. when i first dated my wife she was over weight thought of leaving then but found out we were having a baby. then she gained 80 pdt with it. so i felt like i was stuck. now two more kids later even more stuck. i never was one to break up relationships so now i just sit being miserable looking at her fat wondering why i settled. i try to get her to workout with me but has no motivation to. and when i workout she dogs it. hoping that it will influence her i will not give up at least i will not look like that of i can help it. i stay for my kids. i hope one day a beautiful healthy women kidnaps me. until then i guess i will suffer going out in public (embarrassing) and in my own world i have somehow created for myself. lesson learned shouldn’t have settled. to the rest of the guys in my shoes i feel your pain. good luck maybe you will be napped by the woman of your dreams. til then keep watching porn.

    • My wife has slowly gained about 50 pounds since we had our kids 15 years ago. I’ve tried everything asked nicely, brought flowers, asked not so nicely, threatened to leave, asked her to work out together (ended up working out alone), but nothing works.

      About 5 years ago, she was about 35 pounds overweight and joined a gym. She at least maintained her weight for a while, but she complained that it was too much effort to go there 3 times a week, even though she does not work. We started seeing a counselor two years ago and most of the blame was on me because complaining about her weight makes her eat more, and she is bored and depressed. WTF. She found porn on my computer and exploded in rage, and added to her list of reasons as to why she is overweight. Counseling hasn’t worked.

      She is now 50 pounds overweight. We hired a gardener, cleaning ladies, and a pool guy, so that she would have more time to go to the gym. She is instead spending all her free time doing more facebooking, instagramming, tv watching, hanging out with friends, eating junk food, and complaining that taking care of the kids is too much work.

      Our sex life is getting worse by the week, and even though I love her and I wish I could be attracted to a fat woman, I am not. I hate seeing her naked and I start dreaming of Katy Perry. I feel like a shallow bastard, but I’m disgusted by cellulite and fat rolls. I dream of her going back to the days when she was hot and wore summer dresses and shorts and was confident. She had a nice figure.

      In her defense, she does spend quite a bit of time taking care of the kids, and she is a great mom. She was my rock when my dad passed away, and together we have gone through thick and thin. I cannot even imagine leaving her.

      If I ever decide to leave, I would not date a hot 25 year old fitness model, but I would want someone my age that would take care of herself.

      • Most of the women I see who are married and stay married are, 97% of the time, very below-average-looking. It is the beauties that get rejected decade after decade. The shallow men are on dating websites because they say they have ‘standards’ when it comes to looks, and they should! There HAS to be an attraction sexually in order to have sex with and stay married to someone.

        • ..and you financially support these women?? While WE , the beauties, have to work into our 40’s and later and get leered at by male married co-workers? Tell them to get off their fat ass and get a JOB. You can ‘love’ somebody, but it is wrong to have sex with someone you find physically repulsive while dreaming about me and other good-looking women. Love does not = sex. There are all forms of love.

    • This is for ALL men with fat to obese wives: How the HELL do you have sex with someone who is fat that you are not attracted to, and then say she got pregnant? Why do THEY get impregnated and we beautiful women don’t? uh, god. You men must have really good imaginations to be thinking of a beautiful woman while touching and entering the body of your fat wives. STOP HAVING. SEX. WITH. THEM.

  45. Sounds to me like there are a lot of shallow men who are going to go after the next best thing and end up sad and lonely when their asses get old and wrinkly and sag. This article gives an easy out for a divorce or separation due to weight. I am disgusted. When men only think about themselves, it is a sad sad situation.

  46. Adjustments you make could significantly affect the layout
    and functionality of your theme.

  47. Speaking for beautiful, size 2 and above single women everywhere: They have asked me this question, and I ask it of men every day.. since every day we are alone and single and childless, while every day in every city we see obese women who have to walk with their chests out and forward, waddling, because of the weight, with children hanging off of them, and some man right at their side. Usually in fast food windows. We who go into any store and see the plainest, no makeup, no personal style, heavy thick eyebrowed, mudfaced women loudly declaring that they have a husband. That’s right. I lol sometimes when they talked, because every one of them is married. You men are THAT insecure that you would rather have sex for 1-50 years with THAT, when you could have had a gorgeous blonde in your bed every night for 1-50 years of marriage?

    I don’t wanna hear that ‘I am fat for 40 years because I got pregnant ‘ crap. Women in perimenopause who have NEVER been pregnant get fat, too, so there goes that theory! My cousins had two kids close together and stayed 100 lbs, flat to no stomach, because they were in shape BEFORE getting married and pregnant. Men: STOP FKING FAT WOMEN!! That is the only way the standards will go back to what they were in the 1980’s and earlier!!! Women have no motivation to look good when you keep marrying them and screwing them and procreating with them, while black skirt, gorgeous blonde-me gets to see these ugly couples everywhere. A good looking couple is a very rare sight, and that is inexcusable and totally disgusting. That is why I was told ‘you are a good looking couple’ when I was out with gorgeous male friend. Don’t tell me how much you ‘love’ these butterfaces, how beautiful girls are ‘stuck up’ etc. What a load of crap. Our personalities and sexual prowess are as good and better than these hideous-looking things you men keep having sex with and staying married to. Thanks for wasting our entire reproductive years on disgusting-looking women, and rejecting us, when you could have had a ‘hot’ beauty. Your self-esteem is to the ground.

    • Nenew,
      You sound like a lovely kind person (sarcasm). If you had read these posts, most of these men married women when they were younger and “beauties” like you claim to be. The women gained weight after they were married, due to having children, being bored, getting too comfortable (and I’m sure in a few instances) due to medical reasons, injuries, or genetic predispositions. The men stayed with their wives because they still love them (for the most part) despite their size. There is nothing to assume that you might be the skinny beauty they marry who then turns fat. Don’t think it could never happen to you, I guarantee that it could!

      If you are still single and childless, don’t assume it’s because men are intimidated by your great beauty, it’s probably because you are not a very nice person. I say this based on the dehumanizing things you said in your posts, not on the fact you are thin. I have many thin, beautiful girlfriends who are amazing people and who are married or in healthy long term relationships. If you are still single, point the finger directly at yourself! There is a reason no one wants to marry you. Sorry, the truth can hurt.

  48. ..and shows like King of Queens were so disgusting sexually, I had to turn it off. The nerve of him, looking like that and talking to her the way he did, sex-wise. Beyond disgusting. It probably encouraged the obese men to keep coming up to and hitting on beauties like me that they will never ever ever ever ever ever have a chance with. Haven’t in the past 30 years, and never will.

  49. Do us all a favor and STFU, just STFU.

  50. I love all the what if replies. . . . They are the best parts!

    What if your spouse was caught in a house fire and just before escaping, the pool table THAT YOU JUST HAD TO HAVE collapsed thru the ceiling/floor effectively pinning her in the doorway to where she now resembles Mel Gibson from the man with half a face and out of sheer depression, sorrow she has now produced many LBS to try and cope with her mangled life/face.
    . And your just going to leave her!!
    Guess what. People know what they don’t want. And. that makes them right because you have to do right by yourself /kids.

    If I was your man and I did all the things a husband/bf is supposed to do but I got friendly drunk all the time and puked and shit in the bed every night then you’d probably have good cause to not want to be with me….. Does that make you vain.!

    If you aren’t into putting a shit ton of work in to getting those abs back after a pregnancy or a bad run of luck or whatever the circumstances may be then in my humble opinion that’s not what the majority of us are asking but if you let yourself completely go then why do you think you can take us with you. You can’t be one thing and then something else and give up and say well that’s who I am now and say Love it cause YOU CAN’T Leave it …. you cant fault a dude or a lady from wanting something more from you or else from someone. That’s who we are that’s how were made. My gf was around 160 170 at 5’7″ not a skinny girl but beautiful eyes face skin personality light up a room! Now nothing. whiny selfish lazy complainer. After the baby she put on at least 80lbs. She never exercises she spends money on vitamins/holistic supplements yoga mats work out clothes xpensive clean food and never follows thru with any of it for *HONESTLY* a couple of days . . I won’t marry her basically because of it. She gets worse every year. Im not tying myself to a sinking ship because I happened to knock her up. . How in the world does that make me a pig.
    . . I love her (i guess as much as anyone I’ve ever) but to think that everytime we make bang bang I’m faking it and not there at all for the rest of my life seems a tad unfair to both of us. . I dont want to leave her but I also don’t want this. . So instead of leaving her/messing around on her, then why is it so preposterous that I act like a fu<^ing adult and tell her that all the excess weight and the lifestyle that comes with it doesn't help me feel the way that I think I should feel about her? . So if the feeling you have is that anyone who leaves you over weight issues is wrong then maybe you are for

  51. Philip Sparacino

    Attraction is an interesting thing. I have been attracted to fat women all my life—it’s just what I go to naturally. It doesn’t mean that I have never, or can’t be attracted to thin women….only that my preference is fat.
    No one in my family is fat and I am small and wiry.
    As a little kid, (I’m talking maybe 5, 6 years old–yes I was attracted that young) I remember feeling that fat women were among the most beautiful—but that did not mean that I felt that way about ALL fat women, any more than one would feel that all thin women were beautiful. I knew the things that people said about “fat girls,” but it didn’t make a dent in how I felt. That’s just how I was and I am still that way.
    I don’t try to understand attraction—I just accept it. It is what it is. Who cares why?
    How fat? Well, at one time I was engaged to a woman who, if I stood behind her, you could not see me. That relationship didn’t work out but it wasn’t because of her weight. But one of the things I really liked about her was that I felt I could go anywhere with her. She seemed to be at ease in any situation.

    Coupling sexually with a fat woman, provided she’s the right person, is to me one of the sweetest, most beautiful, most arousing, sexually charged and intimate acts in which I have ever been involved. Does that mean I couldn’t feel that way about a thin woman? No, I suppose not—if we “clicked.” But as I said, I prefer fat—I’m naturally more attracted to the larger, rounded form, the softness of the flesh, the muchness of her. I love the contrast in our sizes. (And no, I don’t like to be crushed, or sat on.) Still, some people might say that I have a fat fetish. If I do then I suppose most other American males have a thin fetish. It’s all such bullshit.

    Listen—like what you like, love what you love. But please don’t think that when you talk about fat women that you speak for everyone. You do not.

    Life is short. Go for what you like and revel in it.

    I feel for the men who are no longer attracted to the women they married. It sounds awful. But some of the remarks made about fat women are SO hostile and dehumanizing—and this comes as no surprise in a country where fat people are mostly either treated badly or ignored.

    Still, loveliness and beauty and sensuality comes in all shapes and sizes. Perhaps one’s perspective could be widened a bit.

  52. In the following study, they looked at 692 female adolescents. Weight-loss attempts strongly predicted a higher increase in weight as well as onset of obesity over the 4-year study period

    The dieters had a 3.24 times greater chance of obesity than the ones who never dieted.

    [E. Stice et al., 1999].

  53. Minnesota Semi-Starvation Study:

    Young healthy men were recruited for a study in which they walked 3 miles a day and ate 1200-1570 calories a day. They lost approximately 25% of their body weight (165 lbs down to 125 lbs).

    The men all ate anywhere from 4000 to 10,000 calories a day and regained the weight in a snap (plus 10% extra – all fat).

  54. From one of the participants:
    “The human body is a marvelous machine. It adjusts itself automatically to a lower food intake. Body weight reduces? Of course. But also heart size, lung capacity, stomach size. Everything slows down, particularly the metabolism rate. But the changes we noticed most were psychological changes.”

  55. From one of the participants:

    “After the experiment was over, I was still hungry for a long time. Even when I could eat all I wanted, I would finish a meal and still feel hungry. My stomach just would not hold anymore. For months, I carried candy bars or cookies in my pocket and munched continually. Naturally, I got fat. In six months, I went from a low of 122 pounds to a high 225 pounds. It took me three years to get back to normal weight and normal eating habits.”

  56. last thing:
    only 1 in 6 are able to maintain weight loss long term…

    (Kraschnewski et. al. 2010)

  57. Harry_Samwise

    Married 2.5 years now.

    Baby daughter is 1.5 years old.

    My wife gained around 30 pounds since our wedding.
    It was partly my fault that my wife gained weight, because I simply was too lazy to tell her she was gaining weight and I thought that gaining a lot of weight was part of the pregnancy process, and not because I did not want to hurt her feelings…..I can be very direct and my wife knows this very well.

    Boy was I wrong.

    Since about 3 to 4 months now I have pushed my wife to lose weight, and have told her very clearly that our marriage will not survive if she does not lose weight.


    Lack of wife’s confidence due to her weight = No sex OR crappy sex.

    She has now lost the first 10 pounds……and is hopefully on her way to losing more.

    In my case…..I simply told my wife I love her, but she has to change for herself and her marriage….and for now it seems to have worked.

    I told her that I am willing to wait for her losing weight, motivate her and even participate in eating healthy and exercising with her. I am becoming also more healthy at the same time. Our sex life is still not where I want it to be….but I am seeing improvements and hopefully we will get there.

    My main issue is anger and being sometimes mean to her….that has seem to also have played a role in her confidence and weight….so I am working on that too.

  58. My wife of 35 years has gone from 120 to 180 plus. She is not attractive to see naked. Her concern with her face , hair and nails is overwhelming, but anything below the neck is merely covered up with new clothing purchases. She is kidding herself. She is an obeseley overweight smoker and ignores the illnesses in other family members who have struggled with smoking related diseases. We have not had sex for the past 6 years and even when we had sex, it was sometimes weekly, mostly 1 or 2 times per month, and it was almost never spontaneous, as I would have to ask her to engage in sex. Her idea of romance is a hug and light lip touching kiss once a day. I am an extremely disappointed and frustrated husband. I am in good physical shape and have resigned myself to the fact that she is in control of the sex within our lives, and it is presently non existent. I love my wife, and when we took our marriage vows, I was serious about holding to them. The simple fact is, my wife is quite happy with her life, but I am not, and will continue to suffer in silence. I believe my wife has thrown in the towel when it comes to her health, fitness level, and for sure any form of sex. I am tired of trying to discuss sex with her, as it leads to ill feelings and personal attacks against me, my family. I do believe my wife is suffering from emotional scarring from her childhood years, and we are both suffering for it now. I am a fairly positive individual and keep myself satisfied with the company of family and friends, but as previous posts have stated, we as men and women are prewired for certain wants and needs. My partner is high maintenance on the emotion scale and our physical relationship has changed from a fun life of sport, activity and occasional sex, to none of those. Extremely disappointed and frustrated is what I am. I would like to see one of the health and lifestyle advocates, either on TV or in any media, advise women and men to get in shape and to look after themselves, and their spouses, talk about their feelings, discuss sex, and lose the dam extra weight. Stop with excuses, and get in shape, PERIOD!!!

  59. Posting in case this might help someone.
    Research the “5:2 Diet.” It’s been popular in the UK for a few years. I’ve lost 17 lbs in the past 3 months doing 5:2 and it hasn’t been that big of an effort. It’s known as the “Fast Diet,” in the U.S.
    The BBC documentary that launched the book was Horizon’s “Eat, Fast and Live Longer” episode, viewable here:

  60. Glad to see I’m not the only one… Here’s my story: I’ve been married 13 years. My wife was smoking hot when we got married but has gradually put on weight over the years both before and since our 2 kids were born. She has spent money on diets just to quit them and has a gym membership she never uses. I can’t stand to look at her or be seen with her in public with her as it is really embarrassing. I am very fit and attractive for my age and other women have noticed.

    As miserable as I am I have had no intention of divorce until about 6 months ago when I met a recently divorced mother of 2 who’s child happens to be best friends with one of my children at their preschool. Seeing how this woman is able to take care of herself as well as her children as a single mom really gains my appreciation whereas my wife has every excuse in the book as to why she cannot lose weight despite my efforts to be helpful and supportive. This other woman and I have had some nice talks but nothing beyond that and I have no idea what she really thinks about me, but I feel a connection with her that I haven’t felt with a woman in a very long time.

    Regardless of whether I have a future with this particular woman, it really makes me realize what I’m missing being married to my wife. Every time I see a great looking woman with a less than average man, I always ask myself where I went wrong. I feel as if my wife’s condition is somehow a failure on my part and I feel that others judge me that way when were seen together.

    The issue is that I can’t bring myself to pull the divorce trigger because I love my children and because I have no legitimate grounds for divorce, I doubt I would get the level of custody I want, not to mention the kids growing up in a broken family (although I would argue it’s already broken). I hate to think I’ll still be living this nightmare 10-20 years from now, but I really don’t see any other way.

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