I got the following comment on one of my posts:
What if you don’t want to fuck your wife anymore? Then what? You can’t push a rope up hill. Can’t afford to divorce and don’t want to leave the kids high and dry. Once a week? Fuck you.
Not sure what the Once a week/Fuck you was about, but I’d like to address the comment in general since it is a valid one and I’ve heard it before. This very topic was the genesis of my Skinny Husband, Fat Wives masterpiece (said entirely tongue in cheek). So while this response is intended for my commenter, I think others out there can see this point of view as well.
My direct experience with divorced men is of the garden variety: marriage stagnates, boredom ensues, someone cheats (my direct non-scientific experience has been about 2/3 of those infidelities have been wife initiated), marriage and ego isn’t strong enough to survive, divorce ensues. However, I have been on the sidelines on a private board with a slow, 1-year buildup as a dude dealt with a fat wife who he wasn’t attracted to anymore, but had kids. They eventually divorced after a lot of hand wringing, and the guy, after some adjustment ended up way happier both short- and long-term and kids were fine.
I don’t have a lot to work from here, so I’ll make some assumptions on my commenter’s wife: she is NOT a cunt, but is fat. She gives lip service to getting into shape, but after a few days she’s back to ho-hos and riding the gravy train, literally. She isn’t a stay-at-home mom, but wants to be, and is doing just enough to get by and not get too much shit from her husband. She spends most of her time looking at Pintrest or Instagram or Facebook on her phone, and tries to fuck her husband once a week, hating him with her vagina, so she doesn’t have to admit to herself her best days are 50 pounds ago in the rear-view mirror.
And let’s assume dude isn’t Brad Pitt in Fight Club, but goes to the gym, is top 25% in body and as an early 40’s guy is a pretty solid catch. He helps around the home, makes a good living in a stable career like engineering, but isn’t super exciting. He knows he’s not perfect, but is always trying to get better as a person, while being as good of dad as possible. But he knows the score. He’s not attracted to his wife and knows the game both sides are playing.
So husband and wife are more roommates than anything, getting by for the kids. Always for the kids. They’ve probably been to some counselling and he’s probably implemented strategies from the MAP
At this stage, I’m very neutral on the topic of marriage, neither strongly for nor against. If you’re married and have kids, I certainly believe that there is an incentive to make it work but only to the extent it is a healthy environment for modeling behavior. There comes a tipping point where the caustic nature or non-loving environment of a bad marriage makes it better to go ahead and separate. Kids are resilient, and if both parents can stay involved in their lives, it may be a better situation than a hateful cohabitation “for the sake of the kids.”
So here is the Choose Your Own Adventure series of options. None are right or wrong. If he has truly exhausted the standard approach to improving self and the marriage, there are really only a few choices left and none of them are ideal.
- You do nothing. Life continues on, until kids are grown up, then maybe you consider a divorce. Until then, you grin and bear it. If you picked 1. go to A. below.
- You aren’t a quitter and you have the difficult honest conversations even counseling could’t bring you to say, that is, you aren’t attracted to her but want to see it work. Consider it a Hail Mary to knock some sense into her world. If you pick 2, go to B. below.
- You don’t want to get divorced, but want a sex life that makes you feel alive again. You can deal with a naggy wife at least until the kids are out of the house, but can’t deal with corpse bride who just lays there, so you decide to cheat. If you pick 3. go to C. below.
- You decide to bite the bullet and realize you only have one life and you deserve to be happy and not married to someone you aren’t attracted to hence you decide to blow up your marriage and get a divorce. If you pick 4. go to D. below.
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Ok, here are the scenarios for what you picked out of the choices.
A. (You do nothing). This is probably the most common approach. You continue to dwell in limbo land of unhappiness personally, but more or less happy (or at least content) as a family unit. In doing so, your health declines, your passionless life continues to move through the motions. But hey, at least the kids are happy, right? Except they know something is up. They’re also wrapped in their own head and minds and friends, and just know that while in the house has mom and dad both present, neither are present in their marriage. And they will model their relationship after the same pattern. If you show them being roommates is what marriage is about, that what they will subconsciously bring to the table in the next generation. Hence, the cycle continues. When they have finally left the nest, 10 years may have passed, and if you do end up deciding then to get divorced, you’ll think “why didn’t I do this earlier?” You’d have traded 10 years of your life to not rock the boat. Maybe it was worth it, maybe not, but you’re essentially kicking the can to a future version of yourself.
B. (Honest conversations). Life after breaking down the walls of politeness will be very difficult, especially after you’ve burned the ships there is no going back to the way things were. There are likely two outcomes. Either she will change or she won’t. Divorce is rarely a one-sided coin, and both partners bear responsibility. However, assuming that you’ve made a good faith effort and have done what you can to improve, be a good person/spouse/parent, and be attractive, at some point the person needs to meet you half way. If she is humble, swallows her pride, and looks honestly in the mirror, maybe she will change and you’ll galvanize your marriage. There are some great before-after photos of couples, husbands, or wives losing weight that can provide inspiration to make those hard decisions., However, that is very hard, especially when ego is involved and her back is against the wall. The most likely scenario is that with the bridges burnt she’ll say fuck this marriage and your divorce proceedings will begin. Then, after you’re divorced she’ll find the motivation to get her act together and jump on the cock carousel just to spite you. If that is the case, you’ve at least given it the best effort to make it work and have spoken honestly so while you may end up ultimately at choice D below, you can walk away in a timely fashion knowing you played all the cards you could and left nothing back.
C. (Cheat). If the rest of your married life is solid, but your sex life stinks, this may be a band-aid or possibly a long term solution to the issue. It is better to be aboveboard and introduce the concept of open marriage in choice B, but perhaps you don’t want to open that dialogue. If this is something you’re considering, keep in mind your reputation to not only your friends and family, but to your kids, if you get caught. That is a tough one to overcome and get through. If you must, discretion is key. Perhaps segmenting your life to family, work, and sex works for you, but usually this eventually unravels anyway sometimes with a tarnished reputation and broken relationships. 
D. (Divorce). The stigma of divorce is still there, but ejecting from a bad relationship that is adversely impacting your happiness and maybe even the kids is sometimes the right move. It opens up the possibility of finding a better fit in a partner, or simply staying single and living the life you want to live while getting laid through on-line dating. However, there is a reason many people choose staying in a crap marriage vs. divorce. The divorce laws are set to extract the most pain out of the father, and if your soon to be ex-wife is revenge-minded, she has the ability to royally fuck with you. False abuse (either to her or the kids) allegations, drug/alcohol allegations, alimony, child support, withholding your kids from you. The system is rigged, resulting in men getting screwed to the point of suicide. I don’t say this lightly, but both marriage and divorce are serious decisions with ramifications that need to be mitigated. Expect to be poorer than before, and watch while you pay for your own house for your wife and kids to live in while you are forced to live in an efficiency in the crappy part of town while she calls you a deadbeat. But you can’t put a price on misery or happiness, so it may be money well spent at the end of the day as you get a real chance for happiness. 
…
At the end of the day, if you don’t want to fuck your wife anymore the options aren’t very attractive no matter what. My wife Holly and I have changed since we got married, but we’ve generally changed in the same directions. If one spouse changes for the worse, or stays static while one changes for the better, it can be a tough road to hoe. Recognize that people grow apart and may have different motivations for changing. I know that I stepped up when the pressure was on me to improve, but some people are lazy or can’t stop addictive patterns (eating, drugs, booze) so thus end up as a different person than when you married. You can’t be expected to sign on for that if the person has no respect for you (or themselves) to change. But remember, you CAN’T change another person, and can only control your own situation or perception of the situation. So either be happy or not. Either shit or get off the pot. It is hard to be happy or miserable at the same time, so choose one and accept your choice.
Ken says
There’s a lot of truth here. One thing I might add: In almost every situation I’ve witnessed, the progression is A, C, D. The unhappy partner starts out doing nothing, eventually starts cheating, and then divorces either after getting caught or deciding to marry the other man or woman. Very few people seem to reach the “critical mass” it takes to break out of a rut without the pull of another love interest. This has fairly significant implications I think because it means the unhappy person is moving directly from one relationship to another with no time to regroup and make some decisions that aren’t at least partially dictated by another person. That tends not to be good for the next relationship. Only the person who gets cheated on and left – assuming they weren’t cheating too – gets the “luxury” of some time being single. They won’t view it as a luxury, which is why I put it in quotes, but it may actually mean they got the better deal in the long run.
The message here is that to make divorce “work” I think the unhappy partner does need to consciously choose it, not get pulled into it by circumstances – but that’s almost never what happens.
One other thing is that I think more relationships than we realize feature tacit approval of cheating. He/she doesn’t want sex that much but likes the BMW SUV and nice house, so they look the other way. It’s probably best not spoken of though. It just has to be kind of an unstated understanding. Obviously it’s not always going to work, but I think the possibility is more worthy of consideration than we give it credit for.
AverageMarriedDad says
Great points. I know when my brother got cheated on and later divorced, he had time to work on the things that he brought to the table that were a detriment to his relationship. In the end, this was a good thing, which supports your point. I also agree that some do look the other way to their partner’s indiscretions so they may continue to have what they desire which is a stable family life with a lifestyle they’ve become accustomed to. I feel they justify this compromise believing that you really can’t “have it all.” Thanks for the comment.
Yolo says
I think this is such a unicorn situation. I’m in the complete opposite situation and forced the issue – twice in a row – to get something. As much as it hurts, you really have to break the issue down by going down the path you really don’t want to so you are a few steps ahead
1. start reading up on divorce, and even use that free legal service perk to contact one and talk logistics through
2. work on your fitness and start scoping out the local meat market. in-person, NOT online
3. Once you feel more confident, work on approaching women until you know what works and what doesn’t. this is vital, you now have the ‘edge’ for the next move
4. sit your wife down when there are no imminent time pressures and let her know in no uncertain way that the current sexless marriage will end if she doesn’t immediately change. have sex either right after the talk (and I mean YOU have sex, she gets to be the object), or you tell her it’s over.
I guarantee you will get a result either way. i had to repeat the performance again and ever since that she knows she’s on a one strike and you’re gone probation. do not supplicate in any way, let her feel your anger. if she fears you it will work as an enticement. if she loathes you, activate the lawyer.
under no circumstances do couples counseling, you want the IMMINENCE of a split to be in the front and back of her head at all times
no longer deadbeat dad says
I like your style
number D is sot on and you need to make a article on being a deadbeat dad even though you SWORE you were the one and only good divorced dad.
Everyone man and women talk all sorts of crap about the (accused) abuser dad as you spoke of and thy all believe it 100%. as you said you live in a run down shack but you left out you are not allowed visitation because your home is not acceptable by CPS. As well you pay support without fail and on time, but she is on welfare anyway and the DAs child support collection people on a regular basis tell her you did not pay. If you did not keep good records, you have to pay again. This keeps her mad at you and keeps her signing more complaint against you. Some idiot will tell you you can have supervised visitation. This of course often means a paid CPS person if you cannot arrange acceptable (by the mother) people willing to spend their weekend with you. This soons comes to a end. At some point you have no choice but to pay support and not see the children. Of course all your friends and family will demand you not do that,,,,,,,,, ….
while they will all tell you the myths they believe WHAT THEY WOULD DO money or none, you find out no there is no free legal help, no there is not a thing you can REALLY do. You just have to bend over and take it. Move on have a vasectomy tell no one you did EVER.
NOW I will tell you huge numbers of men I have seen at this point begin to wallow in self pity telling everyone how much they love their kids what a good dad I am and how I am not like all those deadbeat dads you hear about .,.. this is different. They then start drinking heavy … My brother just died 6 months ago from drinking wearing to the end he love his child ….
ME I went my way and never missed a payment ….
after she was 19 years of age she wrote me and we began to talk, her first question was
WHY DID YOU AND MY MOM not stay together…. She was fighting with her mom and wanted a weapon to use.
I told her, you need to believe whatever your mother told you
after a few months she skipped out of her moms and joined a cult. I did not hear from her for 10 years … We made contact with her mom’s brother telling me where she was. We now for 5 years have a good relationship and I even got her to make up with her mom. BUT I am not dead or drunk and if you do divorce this is likely to happen to you and all you can do is your best and be ready and healthy when time comes.
My main point is as much the myths need to end on deadbeat dads
and there are many more, (not my ex) many women take the child support and still let the child do without telling everyone you did not pay and that is why the child is in rags, or not going to the doctor etc …. there is not a thing you can do about it, But those PEOPLE never been in the situation needed to realize they have no idea and IF they want to change things ,,,,, WRITE A BIG CHECK TO THE DAD/////// Oh they never do 🙂
no longer deadbeat dad says
I do agree hating each others and staying together for the child is a REAL bad idea too.
‘but I promise almost no one from CPS the courts the ex or child support do what is best for the child.
destroying the father for the pleasure of the mother just cannot be want is best for the child EVEN the father’s mother will often side with the courts and ex — after all they are both women and know MEN ARE PIGS
Disgruntled old wife says
I’m the wife of a man who doesn’t want to fuck me anymore. My husband is 54 and I’m turning 40 next year. We’ve had sex an entire 4 times in the past two years.
We’ve been married for 16 years and up until recently had such a great sex life. I’m not even fat and I look good for my age (at least that’s what I believed) but the off color remarks he makes about me getting older reveal how he really feels about me. I still want to make love to him but he can’t even get hard anymore. I’m considering walking out on him because I can’t bear to think how he’ll feel about me when I’m 50–I’m only 39 and it seems he can’t even stand looking at me now.
These red pill sites have really become a thorn in my side. I know the truth deep down and getting old, ugly and undesirable is inevitable. I guess I’m just devastated knowing that it’s only going to get worse and I’m just seeing the tip of the iceberg. Sadly, I had hoped by the time I reached middle age that I could shelve my sexuality and focus more on companionship and being a supportive wife. I never realized that my husband would have a sense of contempt towards me for me getting older. It’s a nightmare.
Ken says
Wow, it’s ironic that he has contempt for you for getting older, yet you’re a decade and a half younger than he is. When you got married you were 23 and he was 38. His stuff still worked, so he went out and got himself a much younger woman. Now you’re about as old as he was when he met you, and no sex. It isn’t about you getting old or ugly. It’s about you being married to a child. Don’t be surprised if you find out he’s getting the pills so he can go after another 23 year old. If I were you I’d get out before that happens and before this situation destroys what’s left of your self-worth.
Disgruntled old wife says
I don’t disagree with you. I’ve been mulling over leaving for the past few years. I’m just terrified to take that step because I’m getting on in life and I’m afraid to start over. If I was 30, things would be a lot different. I gave this man the best years of my life and I don’t have anything to fall back on and nothing to show for it. And every new snide remark and his accompanying impotence drives another nail in the coffin.
For instance, about a month ago we were in a public place chatting up some people and all of the sudden out of nowhere he brings up an old stripper friend of mine from several years ago gushing about how “young and reeeeaaaalllly good looking” she was. It was truly embarrassing. Then yesterday he was making jokes about how I no longer have to opt for “sexiness or style” when it comes to clothing and lingerie because it’s obvious I’m too old to even care anymore. He usually takes the politically correct route and spouts pretty little comforting lies I guess because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings, but then he’ll open his mouth like he has Tourette’s syndrome and starts saying what he really feels.
I guess I’m going to have to sit down and really figure this out. I’m terrified of the idea of leaving behind my 16 year marriage and starting over somewhere. I may not even survive this knowing and seeing what so many women my age and older go through when they divorce. I have no career (been a housewife for 12 years) and no money of my own. Maybe you can say a prayer or two for me because I’m clearly going to need it.
not a doctor says
I am not a doctor and never played on on TV but
your statement
” I gave this man the best years of my life and I don’t have anything to fall back on and nothing to show for it. ”
what did you expect to show/get for that ?
you need to analyze what that means ? not for me or anyone else but for you. I will tell you 99% of the time I here that I realize the problem is often self created. Oh he may be a jerk or more to the point you may have choose badly and for the wrong reason. Did you marry the older guy because most younger guys were poor or low paid?
if you self describe yourself as no value no career, it will be so. being 23 or 39 getting a first job is the same start at the bottom work up. Time to move on if it is so bad. If sex is your desire and I assume you think your main valve., 39 is young and all us 45 to 60 year olds would love to have you.
But we are more selective at our age, not looks but responsibility – honesty and yes at that point we do expect you to have a job even minimum wage job. saying you do not have a career is an excuse and one thing men of the age you qualify for do not want is a basket full problems and excuses.
it seems all your answer are based on you deciding 1st are wanting to fix your marriage or move on DECIDE. but move away from the excuse and move to answers. Prayer is not a plan, it is hope for intervention from outside for an inside problem.
older men would rather be alone than with a problem woman
when women are young they got their way easy with almost no effort. Age brings wisdom to men and we no longer fall for the look and smile.
Yes I will tell you if you do not even try, dress or flirt and just want him to pursue you,,,,, we get real tired of that over the years, if he has medical issues, there are way around that and doctors to fix that .. have you tired?
I am trying to be nice but if you are not helping finance at this point children should be older if any and you are a prude ,,,,he may not see the reason to try. you may see he is one of the ready to check out of life people and you fail to see it.
i go back YOU gave him the best years of your life,, he may feel he did the same for you
http://www.averagemarrieddad.com/2013/04/18/not-having-sex-makes-men-depressed-suicidal/
Disgruntled old wife says
What did I expect to show for it? Oh I dunno, maybe a husband that would accept the aging process as a natural human phenomenon and perhaps wouldn’t expect me to remain 23 forever? And yes I suppose I did marry him because virtually none of the men my age in my early 20s even had jobs, their own cars or a place to live. They were all living at home with mom and dad playing video games. Still are.
Also, 39 isn’t young. I’m fully aware of just how old I am. My husband reminds me everyday. Men aren’t lining up to date women my age. Sure they’ll mercy fuck us or do it under the cover of night in utter shame but that’s about it. And you’re right on the money about men being selective, they sure as hell aren’t rushing out to marry us middle aged women and proudly bring us home to meet the fam.
Not that I ever plan getting married or even dating ever again, but I have a feeling when I walk out of here and experience this firsthand I’m going to get far more than I ever dreamed or bargained for. I’m thinking of joining a convent and serve the church the rest of my days. In fact, I’d thought about this seriously in the last few months contemplating if I was ever widowed or divorced, I’d join the church. I truly believe there has to be a greater purpose on this earth than trying to serve or be sexy to men who think you’re too old and disgusting to exist.
Ken says
I’m happy to see that you are a woman of faith and, yes, I will pray for you. But I don’t think the religious life is something you can jump into as a reaction to a bad marriage. That’s a calling that you might indeed have, but you might want to first get out of the marriage (if that’s what you decide to do) and then consider the possibility of a Christian vocation.
What troubles me a little about what you are saying about your age, what men want, etc., is that I sense the existence of some unstated expectations or assumptions. Are you only considering the possibility of wealthy men, or high status men, of those who want a “trophy wife”? If so I think you’ll head right down the same road that led to where you are now, but when it ends after the next go-round you’ll be older, and therefore in your view even less desirable, so you’ll be more miserable than you are now.
Trust me, there are many good men who would be thrilled to have an attractive and obviously intelligent 39 year old wife who’s eager for a good sex life. (Your writing style reveals the strength of your intellect.) You can say 39 isn’t young, and that’s fine – you can feel however you want about your age – but you won’t be turning 38 again, so you’ve got to play the cards you have in your hand. Possibly your husband’s snide comments have to some degree made you feel as you do, but unless you’ve left out important details (such as that you also insult him) his comments indicate a profound lack of maturity and possibly just pure nastiness that has to have always existed.
If you had a man who loved you deeply and with whom you shared a great sex life, would it be worth living at a lower level of status to have that? If your answer to that question is yes, then you can find a man who will make you happy.
not a doctor says
Ken you are a saint
Disgruntled old wife says — All I need to do is read your last entry and realize,, you are on a self destructive road of self pity and anger.
as Ken said 39 is young and you will not ever be 38 again
You married a shallow man and you did it for shallow reasons your self… yep I saw all those young idiots boys living in mom’s basement …. and most the girls were equally worthless. if you had more patients and looked you would have found the man your own age equally responsible. I was at that age and responsible. But I worked 60 hours a week and was poor and my ex girl friend left after she realized just getting pregnant would not magically transform me into a great “career”. being poor and young and growing together is part of the magic. That being said, time to stop seeing money as the answer.
responsibility and living within YOUR means is the answer
today is the first day of the rest of your life, time to see the mistakes of the past and fix them and move on. You confuse financially what is important. I would rather have a wife who makes minimum wage and can budget to live respoblem on that AND BE HAPPY,, than a woman making $200,000.00 a year and in debt all over always wanting more.
stop running yourself down and look at the great things you can do
39 is the best time of life you are young and yes many men want to find a good woman of your age., They are not looking for a woman who is expecting to be catered to. there are man men who just give up and live alone because most women of their age 35 to 60 are all about spending spending and spending to be happy
but your husband is correct men are not looking for a unhappy 39 year old who does not have a job and thinks the only happiness is his money. Men hate to be seen as a ATM machine as well
joining a church and being a crabby ill tempered, fiscally irresponsible women who hates the world is not being Christ like ,,, while at first you were unhappy about lack of sex,,,, looks like there ina bigger agenda.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Disgruntled old wife says
Tired of being lectured by hypocrites who feign the “poor church mouse kumbayah all you need is love” failure mindset. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized just how important money and retirement is, especially in old age and especially when you have loved ones to care for. Insurance, medicine, mortgages and food cost a lot of money. I’ve come to understand that anyone who denigrates and denies this is broke, clueless and irresponsible with money.
And I’m not real clear on why the men on this blog insist that many men would love to date a woman my age. This is a red pill blog isn’t it? According to men in this sphere, women expire, lump up and curdle like milk at 35, especially when they hit the wall. This is your dogma.
Perhaps it might be difficult for you to grasp but, I do not want any other man. I don’t want any other man to make me happy. My husband is not some interchangeable cog I can unscrew and plug up with another. There is no other man for me and he is irreplaceable–that’s why I got married in the first place. That’s why if or when it ends, I will pursue other endeavors that I will devote my life to, whether it’s in the service of God or taking care of disadvantaged children or sick animals. I took my vows and I meant them, I don’t want any other man and no other man will do. It’s that simple.
not a doctor says
I understand,,,, the only thing worse than being a gold digger is being a unsuccessful gold digger ….
before you can help
” in the service of God or taking care of disadvantaged children or sick animals”
you need to take care of yourself
As I understand; I say time for you to move on and be christ like
Will says
Call me we should talk
Will says
Email me oceanwillliam24@gmail.com
not a doctor says
I will add If I were single now
I would rather find a 50 year old happy women who lives within her means to be happy with me
than a 39 year old unhappy women with no expectations of putting any effort into being happy
happiness is a state of mind once you have the very very basics of life, basic shelter ONE ROOM shack, food and are not naked on the streets —- all the rest is luxury
39 is awful young to give up on life — look for something to be happy about and smile
and yes I would EXPECT sex as a mutual need — other wise no… I do not have the money for a concubine and need love someone who wants me as much as I want her and that alone is the reason for the relationship
I am so bothered you say 39 is not young — it makes no sense
Disgruntled old wife says
You’re being PC and you’re not being honest. Most men don’t care about anything but youth and looks. That’s why men trade up all the time for a younger model. That’s why the author of this blog talks endlessly about what men should do if their wives get fat and disgusting. And it’s also why red pill blogs overall preach endlessly about women being young and attractive as the holy grail. It’s not right or wrong, it’s just a fact of life. It’s biology. It’s deeply ingrained in men to desire youthful female attractiveness.
Once again, 39 is not young, especially in terms of sexual market value. It’s old, stale and rank. I’ll clue you, the options I had at 22 years old as opposed to what I have now is really a colossal joke. LOL
not a doctor says
well I think you seem to be confused ,, men are no more hooked on women must be young anymore than women only care about money. I am as far from PC as it gets ….
I can tell you ten 50 plus women I know who rock there looks way better than many 22 year olds…
yes a fresh loaf of bread is better than a 3 day loaf of bread but women are not bread. you read too much “red pill” crap and only look at the wrong kind of men … If you had better sense you would see the good men,
but I will say if I were filthy rich and had no love in my life and a self indulgent idiot, I would have a few young women set up with apartments cars and allowance for stop and ride….. of course those kind of women while not very savery…… YET they are far better than a wife who marries for money at least they know who they are.
You are living a self fulfilling prophecy — you think I am undesirable there for you are undesarable
I will point out the worst thing that can happen to a woman is her man leaves her for a ugly woman and she can even be older than her…… men want a women who want him ….
that is qualified wants him not his money.
real men want to be treated well and with respect …. a wife talking crap about his wife even if it is her self is a big turn off …….. yes a 22 year old has lots of benefits over a 39 year old…. but a 39 year old has benefits over and 22 year old…..
Women are lot like cars to a man….. there are the new cars to drive and work with and use,,,,, and there are the classics like a 1955 T-bird fun to drive, and looks of old classic kept up is way more than any new car.
self pity is about the worst character flaw there is — as for 39 year old women speak for yourself not all the others,, 39 is a great age
mike says
I am definitely staying for the kids… She told me I would never see them if we got divorced. I have no choice. She hates when I work out, hates that I want to eat healthier, and we have had sex 5 times in years. Last time was 30 months ago… but I can’t leave, I need those kids.
Don says
Hello Mike, I’m in the same boat as you. Kids are mostly gone (one left). I can assure you once that happens there will be drastic changes. Society has screwed good men like you and me through the courts demonizing is. Well feminism has gained lots of control but in the long run it will eventually be their own demise. Good luck
Brad says
Interesting
Pietro Giuliano says
Why not just hire some escorts? … don’t get involved with another female. One has sex with postitutes so you can leave when you’re done. No emotional baggage. Guys get married because they think they’re gonna get laid all the time … they may last a few years … but, then you’re just left with a nag.
Bat says
Go for gold… start hate fucking the fat wife, I mean really smash fuck out of her just to amuse and spite yourself at the same time. And since your relationship couldn’t get any worse at this point, start being a cunt to her as well, if the opportunity arises, tell her she needs to get off her fat arse and go for a run ( buy her an athletic breed of dog like a Kelpie or border collie that she’ll have to walk it daily and tell her it’ll be good for her) talk a bit of filth at her expense while ploughing her ( it’ll make the chore more enjoyable and add spice to a otherwise dour deed) .. give her a eating disorder if you can’t afford the gastric bypass you’d rather buy her for Christmas. Under no circumstance blow a load into her, always on the sheets on her side of the bed, or better still, pull out, go a bit soft, wait a minute of two and start wanking in the bed while she’s still in it, making a point to use something of hers as a blow rag. Watch porn on the phone if need be. If that doesn’t give her a complex and either stops her dead in her tracks from imposing irksome libido on you, or better still, subliminally encouraging her to put some more effort into her rooting, nothing will. ( win win either way)
The trick is to maintain the other aspects of your meaningless union, be a good dad and husband, so when she splits up with you, you’re the good guy ( albeit one with a kinky disposistion she’ll never discuss with the kids or family) and for all appearances, she’s the cunt. If you’re really lucky she might get into it and your renewed relationship will have a more sexually liberated underpinning to it, with middle class suburban levels of submissive role play and BDSM complimented by a more earnest dialogue on all issues relating to marital matters.