My daughter is nearly 10, and starting to enter pre-teendom. They had the “our bodies are changing” seminar at school, where they learn about Stuff. That’s Stuff with a capital S. She’s been wearing a sports bra every day for most of the school year, and while she’s still a little girl (still playing American Girl with her friends), the clock is ticking. Tic. Toc. As any of you with kids knows, the stages of childhood pass as quickly as pages in a Dr. Seuss book. Newborn to toddler to preschool to school age all have gone way, way too fast. The next stages scare me. Hormones, menstruation, boys… :shiver:
I have thought a lot about how I want to raise my daughter Birdsnest, and have read various perspectives from the red pill side from both men and women. The pro-YouGoGirl, Selfies, beta-dad as money provider wimp with wife as household head, that are 75% of America today is the societal headwind we are up against. Your daughter is getting fed this by their friends. So even if we do raise them right, we stand the chance of losing her to modern feminist propoganda that is pro-self, pro-sleeping around, pro-ball busting, that devalues starting a family under the traditional system. But we try to fend against this and raise them to have the greatest chance for success, happiness, and love while passing on our genes to the next generation. Anyway, a few sides of the raising a girl in today’s society from the red pill peanut gallery typically goes like this:
- On one side you have people who think the best way to raise a girl in this world environment is to try and raise a submissive daughter, who learns to cook, clean, take care of children, takes care of her man, isn’t narcissistic but still takes the effort to be feminine and look pretty…basic ideology of becoming a stay-at-home mom when times were simpler. This approach still works, and is found in many highly religious families where values were very strong and taught at a young age. On this path you can still teach her what a qualities to look for in a good man – basically hoping she finds the Boyscout (trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent).
- On the other side, those men and women who get the whole Captain-First officer dynamic, strong feminism is fairly poisonous to healthy relationships, and how riding the cock carousel is really bad for establishing long-term bonds/lasting marriages. These people, of which I am one, tend to spin the Red Pill. But the question is how do you take 3, 5, 7 years of digesting this stuff, as well as other perspectives and life insight, along with your own values, and try to impart it to the daughter?
Here are the things I plan to teach my kid as she becomes a woman in this world today. Now she’s 10 people, it’s not like we’re having these conversations next year even, but she will grow up and have raging hormones, and I can’t go forward with my head in the sand. My goal is to have a well adjusted daughter wise to the ways of the world today, including men. I want to raise her to be self sufficient and to value family more than a job, and to do what I can to give her a leg up if/when she decides to get married. Staying happily married has a huge impact on both life wealth and happiness. So of all the other million lessons I’m teaching my kid(s), here are a few I will address at the appropriate time(s) in the future, in no particular order or timeline at all:
- First off, I am setting the example of how she views men. Fore the dads: be strong, be in control, be a leader in the family. Have manly hobbies and do manly things like chopping wood, and playing guitar, and building stuff. Go camping with your kids and get away from the iPads and Xboxes and bullshit that seem to clutter our daily lives. And make stuff happen, while being kind and joking and showing love in our man ways like whisker rubs.
- Working hard and being humble will lead you to much more successful and grounded life than taking your talents for granted and being conceited and narcissistic. And you’ll have a better root structure to grow from. Over the years, despite your ability and test scores, we’ve underlined that hard work (AKA Grit) will be a key factor in life happiness and success. Be it working hard in the home, or in school, or in a hobby, or in a job.
- Sex – boys/men will do whatever they can to both try and sleep with you while at the same time not wear a condom. Don’t ever, EVER settle for whatever excuse they’re saying. They’ve done this with other women, who have done it with other men. Don’t be a cum dumpster to some tainted semen, or maybe worse yet, get pregnant if you’re not ready.
- Being chaste, waiting (and waiting) to have sex. Building rapport and love will make the chances of a relationship, including marriage stick, will be much higher. Sex in long term and loving relationships is special. Random hookup sex makes long-term connection with a future husband more difficult, and likely leads to increased divorce rates. I’ll also be discussing hypergamy and why the “bad boys” are exciting, but why they’re usually not a great long-term choice for a partner.
- As a piggy back, don’t be afraid to get engaged and married early. Your slutty and feminist friends will wait, cuz they’re independent and riding on the hot cock carousel, but getting married early is good. Having kids early is good. Young bodies tend to make healthier babies in my experience. We’ve seen a number of women near or over 40 having babies that tend to have “issues.” Not to say it will happen, but why risk it.
- Narcissism is what most girls and women do. Selfies bad, especially those in bathrooms or showing your messy room. Naked shots sent to boyfriends. Don’t ever do it! This shit is forever. Your boss one day can Google your name, which will link to your face using recognition software, and see you sexted your boyfriend in 11th grade. Is that what you want? Plus, they call that “child pornography” if you’re still a teen. As an adult they’ll call that just a bad decision that may haunt you.
- Being pretty, and feminine with long hair is what attracts boys/men no matter what your short-haired girlfriends say. Having a unique and funky style is cool, but taking pride in your appearance is important.
- Money-wise – avoid the trappings of fancy clothes, fancy cars, new phone every year. Save. Invest. Start putting 10% into your retirement as soon as you start – more if you can. Raise it up each year. I started teaching you this at 9 years old, bought you your first stock (BRK-B) for your 10th birthday so you could learn something, and taught you about the power of compounding. Small sacrifices in our super abundant society have minor impact on our happiness in exchange for the financial freedom it can provide you when you are older.
- Work towards a career that is in the direction of what you love, but don’t be afraid of hard work, taking risks and starting your own business, or even work in a job you don’t love. These are all stepping stones to finding your life purpose and path. Make a plan and do it… and we expect you’ll be successful enough so you don’t have to move back in.
- Which brings me to discussing post-high school direction, I will make sure you are aware of marketability of a college major before you waste the money. You’re going to read our copy of Worthless so we can do our best to avoid the trap of “investing” in college for a degree with no payoff.
- We’ve been discussing health and good eating since you were little. Hopefully you know enough now to have both mental and physical health and well being, eat well, and take care of your body. To avoid the trapping of drug culture, and keep any alcoholic endeavors in moderation. Speaking of which, alcohol can be a bad thing to a young woman trying to make good decisions. Hopefully you have friends who you can trust when you do imbibe, and to look out for each other.
And so on. I cut out time so just her and I can be together as I slowly pass on my knowledge, and hope to continue that tradition in the future. She’s my little girl, and one day she’ll be grown up (sooner rather than later, I think). We can’t take it for granted that she’s going to magically learn these things from her teachers or friends or mother (her mother and I have differing viewpoints on some of these topics that brush up against hard feminist teachings, but for the most part agree). Dads need to play a major role in raising both our sons and daughters, and not just bottle things up or check out after working all day.
I like the general message for single men from Roosh (and have had an article posted on his Return of Kings site that can be applied to many life’s circumstances), and really like his post on Open Letter to Parents of American Daughters. It’s about hook-up culture and is more raw than my list above, but it is important to realize that our kids are like us as teens and young adults. I was having sex with my 15 year old girlfriend in high school. Hormones a plenty for teens, so don’t expect her to control her body or mind at these early teen years – be proactive. And while the message may be mixed for boys in this Manosphere teachings (don’t get married, be aware of the trappings of women, women can be seduced, etc.), most of these things can be taught as a lesson to our girls to look out for that bullshit. And for the record, the teachings to my son will be very, very similar to the list above, just a change in perspective to “most girls” will behave like X for the intergender teachings. My kids and yours will have to learn their own lessons, but hopefully our wisdom can help dampen some of the harsh reality of the world today.