If you aren’t a regular reader, skip ahead, no worries. For those who are used to a few posts a week, my apologies. With the new job (about a month in), my head is generally spinning as I get my bearings and try to make traction. It is going great, but I’m mentally exhausted, hence my lack of posting. Besides that I’m coaching U8 soccer, getting kids out the door every morning, picking kids up every evening, making supper fairly often, getting them to soccer practice or games, doing Life Coaching a couple evenings a week still, podcasting about every other week, plus the working out thing (more later). Not to mention dealing with a cripple at home (wife had hip surgery in April, just got off crutches on Friday), which means I’m doing her gardening, plus my yardwork. Oh, and we just did a garage sale. Sexy times have been regular vanilla shower sex due to the hip (last night was the first time back in the bed since the surgery about 7 week s ago, and let’s say was underwhelming for many reasons). My wife and I have been “maintaining” more than being awesome, but we all go through these patches, especially when adverse health is involved.
Anyway, I have missed writing to y’all, and interacting with you. So I hope to be writing more as I can put some of the crazy stuff on steady instead of front burner. Plus, I am about ready to dust back off the next book I’m working on (a reader asked pretty close to the topic off-line, so I know there’s a need). No rest for the wicked, much like you. Anyway…
You’ve probably heard about the Dad Bod by now. Some Clemson co-ed penned an article about how girls like the “Dad Bod” and it took off. It’s a dumb article, but seemed to catch the media’s attention for the week. Like usual, this Average Married Dad is a day late and a dollar short. Here are some examples (some famous, some not):
Now I’m probably at this stage, right now, a prototypical Dad Bod. I run 2-3 days a week, lift weights 2-3 days a week (am currently about to start week 11 of a Hatch Squat cycle), plus weighted vest walks once a week among day to day life. I’m fairly thick in size for my height, and in a fitted dress shirt that I wear most days, am popping out in many areas. Due to a diet that still isn’t ideal, I’m carrying 10-20 extra pounds along the waist, but like chicks with a big chest, dudes that lift and have a big chest also tend to mitigate some of their fatness. That’s me. But I have a dad bod, which can now be seen at our local pool. My dad bod has muscles though, while most have the slack-sloped look of someone who hasn’t seen a weight since high school, so by comparison I still look pretty good. Not great mind you, but ok.
I guess the big question is, should men simply accept their fate (or is it fat?) of being a low-T beta dad, or should we continue to fight the good fight? I get the rationale of women writers promoting the dad bod to some degree. Mostly, it’s women are not happy with their bodies, so if their Man looks shitty too, then they won’t feel as bad. My wife essentially told me that the other day. “You are fatter than me, I like that and find you better looking because of it” in about as many words. Remember, I was an emaciated 135# Ironman triathlon dude, so to some degree she’s right – women want a man who’s bigger than them. That’s it.
The problem is, people are LAZY!! If a woman’s man is fat, it gives them an excuse to be a little fatter than needed too. If a dad looks like this:
his wife is gonna have to step up her game, especially if he’s working out with good looking people. Dad Bod makes us all lazier. While I will probably look better than most of the non-lifting dads at the pool this summer, it doesn’t mean I’m ever going to be happy with how I look until I’m in the low teens for bodyfat. A little softness is fine for all of us, but I believe being strong and healthy and looking good is still better than simply settling on a dad bod. And the examples I gave are on the plus side of the spectrum. Most real dad bods I’ve seen at the pool are carrying more than a little extra lbs, but a full on gut. Not sexy no matter how you rationalize it.
So from this dad to the others, keep fighting the good fight. Find some sort of plan that works for you and your life and be disciplined enough to make those minor adjustments for long-term consistency and health. Usually that means getting up early, or swinging out of work for workout lunch (if you are fortunate enough to have a shower), or getting rid of the bread and refined carbs (really the most important for getting rid of the gut). It may not make a difference this summer, but it will make a difference. If you really don’t have a clue, I highly recommend a video program. It provides direction and motivation. I did Insanity for a few months, and my friend is still using my videos after six months. P90x may be better in that it helps build muscles, and you need some dumbbells (you’ll need various sizes, find them used or on Craigslist – expect to pay about $1/lb-, or adjustable dumbbells like this) and a door mounted pullup bar and that’s it (plus the videos, you can find them on Amazon here for $139 or do what I did and find them used). Some like the gym, but unless you’re following a program, many sort of flounder. Whatever it is, invest your money and time in what works for you be that home gym, videos, Crossfit, bootcamp classes, gym memberships, whatever. But do something, don’t accept the dad (or mom) bod. Be the best you can be, and don’t fall into the lazy rationalization whoever is selling this week.