Shitty post title, hopefully the post has something to offer and makes sense.
I started this blog adventure as I was going through my own personal issues of marriage and sex and life. That was my jumping off point, never thought it would amount to what it has. Over the last couple years, I’ve worked through a lot of these issues, improved myself, got things squared away in my marriage, worked through some therapy issues on my own, and put a lot things to bed that were weak sauce. Today, things are on autopilot: kid life (in those Wonder Years right now – 7 and 9) is great, work life is ok (up and down), marriage is steady (sex life is good and much better than before), health is good and personal finance side is finally gaining traction.
Long time readers likely have noticed I’ve gone away from (or at least write less about) what I started writing from. That was: a big dose of marriage, moderate parts of sex, a few cups of health and fitness, a dash of parenting, a pinch of personal finance, and a sprinkle of game. I get it. People want to read about Married Game, or Married Sex or best porn for married couples. Or being a married dude who looks like Brad Pitt in Fight Club. I see the stats and my most popular posts. I know that writing about self-improvement isn’t what people want to hear. I don’t really care, I either write what I know about or am interested in, or write what the MUSE tells me (more common than you think). However, I plan to start writing about more of those things like Married Game and the like, so hang on. I’m going through a transition period over the last year, so just bear with me, I have lots of good things to come.
Anyway, it took me awhile to deal with my own stuff. To work through my Beta-male issues. To be more confident. To be a family leader. To reestablish our sex life. To learn to stop being so small with my circle of influence, and expand into other endeavors. Once I took those steps, my world opened up. We obviously still have our ups and downs. Injuries happen. Surgery and life events happen. Sex happens based on those things. But my life is very good, and Holly and I have settled into a well oiled machine – mostly good. And that’s the point of this post.
Like me: you may not have a six pack, or have sex every day, or have a million dollars in the bank, but if you settle into a great routine that doesn’t have many trap doors or soft spots, you’ll end up pretty fucking happy and have a solid marriage. It takes a long time to build up your weak areas and buttress your strong areas, but once to that point, maintaining that and being happy is pretty easy.
So once to the point where all your hard work doesn’t leave you wondering if your kids are with the wrong crowd, or if your job is in jeopardy, or if your wife is cheating on you, then you are simply content to a large degree. You know that if you simply maintain, things will continue being good. That’s a good feeling. However, the problem is, if you relax, you’ll slide back into something less than what you’ve become, so you HAVE to keep striving.
But when you’ve hit all the bases, you find you have headspace. That room to actually think and figure things out. If you are hungry, all you think about is food (headspace gone). If you have a bad marriage, all you think about is your bad marriage (headspace gone). If you aren’t having sex, all you think about is pussy (headspace gone). If you are a fat and lazy person, you watch TV but in your subconsious your headspace is gone because you know you could be more.
However, if you are fit, happy, having the sex you want, you’ll find things come to you easily. You have headspace to take that quantum leap. But you have to take advantage of that instead of watching the myriad of CSI episodes. You can ponder the great things to ponder. You can learn a bunch of new things about a bunch of topics that interest you. When you have headspace, you can start to generate ideas, instead of just playing whack-a-mole with shoring up your life. With headspace, you find motivation and time to start to pursue those ideas.
I continue to read about positive thinkers and The Secret and pursuing your goals (and subsequently write about it) because it helps me to stay happy and grateful and motivated. Hopefully that comes off in my writing. I continue to do research on various topics, like Sex, Neuro-linguistic Programming, Coaching, Finances, Meditation, Marriage, PTSD, Substance Abuse, Parenting, Health, and Fitness because I love learning, and it is fitting together into my bigger picture for helping others. Because my life is in order, I’m free to pursue whatever. When one part of my life starts to falter, I can see how quickly my headspace gets filled and all of a sudden I can’t find the time (or motivation) to pursue those things, or to write, or to be awesome. At that point I’m working on surviving in a cloak of darkness, until that part get’s back on track.
So I’ll get back to my roots here, with marriage, fitness, health, and so on, but there is a lot of other crossover that happens in my life and yours, as well as the need to stay positive and present on the mental health side. Many things to write about and stories to tell. Thanks for hanging with me here.