I married a 12 year old boy trapped in a good looking woman’s body. My wife thinks poop may very well be the best topic on the planet. Both hilarious and poignant that poop topic is, and she will talk about it to anyone. A few stories that have become legend in our circles are the “poop monster” (a story for another time) and the “coke can poop” that my lovely life produced herself (the diameter of a coke can, according to legend), that could only be flushed after breaking it up with a metal coat hanger. A proper bride I did not marry.
Anyway, Miss Holly has, to some laughs amongst our friends, introduced us all to the Squatty Potty. Apparently this concept has been getting some traction. Our western toilets are too high, and with that comes long poop times, constipation, poops that aren’t optimized, and other maladies. Now me, I’m a fast pooper with good poops, and haven’t ever thought my life was missing something like this. But my wife (and her dad, brothers, and other friends) take their sweet ass time in there. My theory is they either like the alone time, or are knitting some cock socks (this one is only $1.67 – a great gag gift if nothing else).
Anyway, Squatty Potty is a real thing. I love squatting, major part of my workout regimen, and have even pooped in the woods a few times. They do go together (sorry for the res, you’ll have to click to read):
This following infographic should explain everything. Essentially, we’ve been pooping all wrong all these years. But now you can correct your errors. I’m only half joking here. If you read the following reviews from long-suffering poopers, maybe you will be convinced that a Squatty Potty (or as we know it in our house, a “stool”) may work for you.
From the reviews:
- From the Paleo Mom:
There’s also some really convincing scientific studies supporting squatting as a healthier way to poop (of course, scientific studies use more technical terms than “poop”). For example, this study compared the Iranian-style toilet (squatting style) to the European-style toilet (what you are probably used to) and concluded:
“Use of the Iranian-style toilet seems to be a more comfortable and efficient method of bowel evacuation than the European style. Further studies are needed to ascertain the optimal approximation of the measurements to standard height of toilets for ordinary use.”
And this study concluded:
“The results of the present study suggest that the greater the hip flexion achieved by squatting, the straighter the rectoanal canal will be, and accordingly, less strain will be required for defecation.”
And this is my favorite study, which concludes:
“The present study confirmed that sensation of satisfactory bowel emptying in sitting defecation posture necessitates excessive expulsive effort compared to the squatting posture.”
- And from Delicious Obsessions: The benefits of squatting include: Alleviation or elimination of constipation problems, prevention and elimination of hemorrhoids, potential prevention of colon cancer and other colon diseases, strengthening of the pelvic floor, more effective and complete bowel movements, eliminates the need to push or strain, and helps with colitis. This simple solution has literally changed our lives. We can’t imagine not having one, and hubby and I both agree that things seem to move faster, are cleaner, and more comfortable when using a Squatty Potty. We are completely sold on the product and the science behind it.
- Even Robb Wolf has talked about it on his Podcast (my wife’s lover, if ever given the opportunity, at least according to her infatuation with him). From the transcript: Robb Wolf: “the dude that made this squatty potty thing sent me one of their testers and I use it dutifully every day.”
Mrs. AMD uses a 6″ step stool instead of a real Squatty Potty but still sings the praises. She’s LOVES to talk about her poops (I hate it, sooo much), and the new approach to the poop process has left her very happy. As she states, and I quote, “nice long turds.” So there you have it folks. If you have problems pooping, use a stool (or the squatty potty, whatever floats your boat). Or eat proper, that may take care of it instead.
[Edited to add, for commenter Rob, a photo of the best outhouse in the world, with my friend Chuckie V]
View from the top