I truly believe one of the key things that separate the successful people in the world from those that aren’t so successful is the Longview. That is, the ability to delay short-term excitement or gratification for the long-term benefit to do something that requires a little work or is boring. This is as true in self and personal relationships as it is with work or job abilities.
Take, for example, your general desire that most married men would like more of: to look better and to have more sex. Now take a typical day for the average dude.
- wake up at last possible moment
- eat breakfast, something shitty like cereal
- go to work, slogs
- come home, in bad mood
- eat some more shit
- watch tv and checks out
- let naggy wife go to bed while watching iPad and get no sex
As a result, typical men don’t work out, don’t eat very well and beg for sex with their wives, putting the fat pussy up on a pedestal. It is easier to simply not pay attention to these things, not bump up against conflict, and to sit in front of the television and be entertained. It takes no effort, and let’s be honest, most people are lazy and take the easy way as often as they can. This is short term thinking.
Instead, look at the long-term dude.
- Wakes up an hour to hour and a half early to work out
- Eats a healthy breakfast (eggs, fruits, veggies)
- Goes to work already energized after working out early, kicks ass
- Does home stuff, dinner, again eating healthy and promoting healthy eating with his family so kids, wife also are more energetic and look better
- Instead of watching TV, reads or plays with kids, or learning about something interesting like learning guitar
- While looking better, has more confidence to initiate sex with wife. May or may not happen as often as he’d like, but he knows he’s the shit. Thus, sex will come more frequently and he’s not afraid to be cocky/funny and ruffle some feathers for a laugh or punch or even being feaux-pissed off. Better than staring at the iPad and going to bed with his oatmeal wife.
Second dude is working harder and taking more risks. Getting up early sucks. Not relaxing sometimes sucks. Getting shot down by your wife, despite your outcome independence, sucks. But he’s got the longview that one day these efforts will pay off.
Believing in something, having goals, and then attacking those goals in daily, almost imperceptible steps, is the longview. You may not even exactly know what you want to do or be when you grow up. I’m almost 40 and I’m still figuring it out, but I’m getting there. And by doing something (anything), I’ve shifted my life in small ways and done small things – sometimes intentionally and sometimes not – to achieve those goals. Again, in small ways.
The tectonic plates are slowly shifting to the places they are meant to be. Plans are becoming more concrete for both my wife and I (potentially) going to a new professional opportunities while at the same time building the foundation for a future business. To get out of the Corporate world that has me tied by handcuffs of sorts, I have to take the longview and set up some my own small plans for an exit. It requires going back to school (starting this fall), getting special certifications, doing some work on the side…and then, only then, can I even attempt to take the leap for the end goal of getting away from The Man.
I haven’t even told my wife some of this. But our kids are still young, and my longview is to work for myself in two to three short years, have more free time to better support (in Beta ways) our family (cooking, cleaning, kids – all things I am very good at and really enjoy actually). I know this will happen (belief – it drives the action) and at the same time, I will be fulfilling more my passion of helping other people to find their own way.
The longview isn’t easy. It is super boring. Saving 10-15% of your salary in a retirement account like a 401(k) is boring. Paying off debt is boring. Not having cable or going out to eat all the time is boring. But it is awesome to be able to have the freedom to walk away from most stresses at a young(er) age. Or simply the mental peace of mind of having an emergency fund. These things take small, incremental steps to get there. The longview.
Speaking of Longview, I love Green Day: