This is the type of thing I am hoping my writing at least helps with awareness and prevention by those married dudes stumbling upon this site. And what I believe the underlying goal of Athol and Ian are as well. I’d say we’re all pro-marriage, pro-married sex and feel the world would be a happier place with married people getting their shit together. Unfortunately, most married men don’t see that their “good girl” wives have hypergamous tendencies inherent to their biological beings or could possibly ever cheat on them or have feelings for anyone else.
This Return of Kings article, though rare in that it allows a married dude a voice in these matters, presents the author’s first hand experience in these matters. I discuss this to some degree as well in my upcoming book. Husbands and wives both need to be aware that this is possible, and mate guard or self-mate guard to the extent needed to prevent this shit from occurring. And for heaven’s sake, if you have a bad feeling about something, do something about it. From the RoK article:
After ten years of marriage my buddy thought he had it all figured out. His kids were out the house. The business was soaring. The wife just celebrated her 40th birthday in style with a big expensive 40th blowout event.
My buddy is not on or does he care to ever use Facebook. Heaven’s truth. He describes it as “The Devil.” After seeing his wife’s open Facebook page laying on the bed when she went to the store, my buddy found that his faithful wife of ten years, whom he had plucked from abject poverty and placed into Atlanta’s socialite scene, was madly head over heels crazy for the company’s… security guard.
On Facebook everything is over the top FABULOUS and MAGNIFICENT. What quickly followed was the obligatory picking your scrotum up off of the floor moment. Man #2 reached terms for a divorce after the wife disclosed that she no longer wanted to be in an exclusive relationship, and that this is what she wanted in her life. No love, less wifely obligations and more FREEDOM. Freedom is a familiar theme here.
What I’ve Learned
While I’m no expert, I do know that:
- A 2012 UK adultery survey showed that, of 4000 cheats, women typically maintain 2.3 extracurricular lovers while men typically have 1.8
- The typical woman starts to stray at age 37 while the typical man starts at 42
- There are 1.8 million unique monthly visitors on the hook up site for married people AshleyMadison.com
- Women are initiating 70-75% of all divorces
- The 7 year itch is REAL!!! Most women experience an “identity crises” after 5 married years. They resolve to act on it or not after around 7 years of marriage.
- All of my buddies stated that their wives wanted to feel “ALIVE” and seek “FREEDOM” from responsibilities and marital obligations.
- All of my buddies’ wives were between 37 and 47 with the vast majority around the 40-year-old mark
- The word “good girl” is now a badge of dishonor to the modern 40-year-old woman’s mind.
There are four kinds of cheating wives:
- The Emotionally-Starved Wife
- The Angry Wife
- The Wife Who Seeks Excitement
- The Sexually Deprived Wife
I’ve also recently read that besides the seven year itch, the twenty year itch (after kids have left the house) is another critical time in your marriage. Be aware. Personally, I’ve seen this happen with friends and could envision this happening with other friends who complain about their marriages or wives. I try to slowly impart some of the Red Pill ideas (which all of us married dudes have to fight for implementation on, even with compliant wives) but it’s a long and involved introspection and one they have to digest and process themselves. I simply hope it’s not too late for many of these people. Force feeding the information we take for granted results in instant regurgitation. Unless they get hit with the ILYBNILWY speech, they have to slowly process this the same way I did. Things can improve. This can be prevented. Spread the message to those in your circle in whatever way you can. Maybe we can start improving these trends and make happier marriages in our own ways as a grass roots effort. Don’t be afraid to speak frankly with your dudes or nip shit in the bud.