Your gut says something is wrong. She’s been wearing new underwear… She’s been shaving her legs… She’s been shaving her bush! But you aren’t seeing any more sex than before. You haven’t been seeing anything more than the standard gray comfy pants as soon as she walks in the door and old lady panties. Or maybe you’re seeing the exact opposite like our friend Swarley. Maybe she’s having a sexual second wind in her late 30’s/early 40’s! And you’re the beneficiary! But something doesn’t feel right…
She locks her phone when she used to leave it open. Maybe she’s argued about going off the family plan and getting a pre-paid phone because it’s cheaper (it’s really not depending on the add-ons). Maybe she has been talking about a new friend at work who she starts going out with on a more regular basis, getting home at later at night. Something just feels wrong. You aren’t sure, but something is rotten in Denmark. The whole thing is HIGHLY SUSPECT!
Don’t be an idiot and think things are just a little stressed for her at work. Your subconscious knows something is amiss, so taking action is required if you are married. Despite what Rationale Male says about Girls Nights Out, if you are married, ground rules and expectations are the norm. If you feel like the hamster is spinning the cage making excuses why she can’t be home by 2 a.m., and something feels wrong, it is ok to mate guard. Shit, perhaps your wife even wants you to…perhaps she wants you to fight for her.
What happens most frequently is that she’s got a crush on someone. Likely at work, but it could be anyone. The new client she has. The barrista that flirts with her. The ex-boyfriend contacting her again on Facebook. But someone. And it feels good to be wanted by someone other than you. Because, sorry to say it bub, but she’s not that attracted to you. You’re not the dominant RockstarDrummerSportStar that she used to be with, or maybe you were, but she’s beat that out of you by forcing you to be the family man – with no counterbalance such as kicking ass hunting or smashing cars in Demolition Derby to balance that out. It happens to a lot of us. The point is, it’s both your fault the tingly feelings are dropping off. But you have to be the wrench in the gears of her getting her tingles from another dude. And hard.
If you do find something that seems to indicate things have gone further than you’d like, don’t confront her, ask if she is having an affair or why she is deleting text messages. Just go normal through your day despite the fact it is eating through you like acid. Your day will come soon. You may trust her cover story as there may be an innocuous explanation, but you need to verify. It may cost a little money, but you can’t put a price on the mental happiness you will receive if it is all just a misunderstanding. Nor can you put a financial price on saving your marriage before things get too far down the road (hopefully before a full fledged physical affair occurs). Divorce ruins men (and most women, despite their fantasy) financially, and not to mention the collateral damage to kids, so don’t fuck around with a spouse who may be cheating – take the bull by the uncomfortable horns.
So here are a few things to invest in or try since most women don’t really use the family computer these days (do your own research, I am not really a tech guy, here are ones I found after two minutes on Google – note there is typically a purchase or subscription fee associated with these and the bulleted list. I have no financial or other interest, just Google-fu’d these for you – also don’t register or go to at untrusted websites):
- Keylogger for iPhone (must jailbreak)
- Another spy software for iPhone (must jailbreak)
- Keylogger for iPads and Android Tablets (must jailbreak)
- Recover Deleted Texts iPhones
- How to Jailbreak (do your research, some big “not good” things can happen if done wrong or you don’t understand)
- GPS tracker for iPhone or iPad
- Another iGPS tracker
- Keylogger software for the family computer (great for kids too – trust issues, results and reactions unknown)
Remember that your husband or wife is not acting rationally. If you find a thread, pull it and see what happens. If you find substance, expose it to the other spouse.
A good test of your spouse is asking to see all texts or Facebook messages. If they delete them all, and make some excuse about amount of data storage or being tracked by the government and that’s why they delete them, it’s a huge red flag. If they make an excuse about having privacy, a huge red flag. When you get married, you share everything, including the embarrassing and awkward stuff. Including money stuff and amount spent, regardless of if it causes a scuffle. If you have something to hide you will make any excuse to hide your shit, just like the alcoholic hides his drinking habits.
Bottom line is, maybe your weird gut feeling is nothing. Maybe your taking the Red Pill is causing standard RedPillPanic (TM) about how the world really is (like your wife is an actual woman, is attractive to other men, and is hypergamous). It could all be a misunderstanding, so trust, but verify. Don’t take things at face value. Trust me, I’ve had similar feelings in the past – my wife goes on business trips, is out at night, drinking is involved, out of reach for hours at a time. Less than ideal circumstances with the good looking broad I married. But we’ve talked about this, and she has never shown herself to be anything but a moral and honest person and my limited research has proven that case. Maybe she’s even a more super-secret-ninja than I give her credit for and I’m the one being played, but I doubt it. Only you can decide what is acceptable for you or your spouse and what amount of the hairs on your neck need to be raised before you get suspicious. Good luck out there.