Ran across a new blog – Not Your Average Mom, that I think many of you parents may like. I’ve read a bunch of her posts (like 50 pages worth), and I like her writing style and her message but am not really sure what I think of her yet. Technically, she’s falling into the “Mommy-Blog” type category, so her messages are mostly about her kids, but there are some other nuggets in there. Here are some basics about her:
- She has 7 kids (16, 13, 8, 7, 4, 3, and almost 2-year old)
- It’s her second marriage (no kids from marriage number 1 where she was married for about a year)
- She’s married, doesn’t talk about husband hardly at all, except to sometimes mention how shitty she is to him and mention the book he’s about to release. In that mix she does talk about it’s more her issues than him…and keep in mind, he probably shares some of the blame too – when you’re not getting laid for over a month it’s as much on the dude (maybe moreso) as it is the lady.
- Husband’s second marriage as well, he was a former male model, like Zoolander. Seriously. Fucking. Awesome. Though there’s more to life than being incredibly, incredibly good looking..
- I believe they’ve been married 9 years, so while it may be a mixed family (not sure on that), most of those kids are presumably both current husband and wife’s
- She recently completed the NY Marathon, after having lost over 40 lbs. She looks pretty damn good for a 44 year old with 7 fucking kids.
- They’re in a tough spot financially right now apparently, she references this frequently as context for some difficult times. She’s a stay-at-home mom
It’s interesting and entertaining. She swears, talks about boys and their balls, shares stories of her daughter yelling “vagina” when explaining about differences between boys and girls to a younger sibling. Her struggles with personal issues, with keeping a house clean, of trying to set aside time for their marriage, of financial stress. Real stuff people. And she’s pretty funny, though not in an intentional way. Just in a way Parents will understand.
So while I try not to judge, I can’t help but think “Seven Kids?!! Seven! What are you crazy people thinking??!” I work with a woman with five kids, and we had another five kid family co-worker until recently, and thought that would be rough. I’m obviously not the first to try and connect their financial situation with their kids, and she’s used to that apparently. She makes a point though that life is about lessons and people and not stuff. Good points. We have different priorities and ideas about happy families and happy life though, which is fine.
She acknowledges she’s trying to work on her marriage, but there are some things that really turn me off on some of her posts. From her For Better or Worse post.
I’ve called my husband an asshole, a dick, a motherfucker, and a loser.
I’ve told him to fuck off.
I’ve told him that I was leaving,
and that the marriage was over.
I’ve given him the silent treatment.
I’ve used the word divorce.
On several occasions.
Sounds like that would work out well for her, like John and Kate plus 8 or any number of those shows with a million kids. But as they say, until you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, you never really know what their dealing with. But those are some caustic things, man. The good news is she acknowledges them and like many of us, plan to work on it. Still, I can’t help but wonder with that much going on, and with so much stress on both their time and energy, where the marriage and husband is on the pecking order. They must have sex though, spitting out kids every year or two, so that’s good..right? But there has to be some point of diminishing returns or amount of energy you get from the love and challenges of 7 kids (five 8 or younger) vs. what happens to with you and your spouse in these situations.
I think she’s started inadvertently running her girl MAP (40 lbs lost is no joke), her husband (former male Zoolander model remember) is already a physical specimen, but dude could probably benefit from the red pill thinking (how many here would go a month without fucking their wives proper?? without going bananas and still consider they have a “strong” marriage?). Props to her though (and a message to the people who make excuses that they don’t have time to work out or lose weight).
Anyway, thought I’d share. Always interesting to see how other people live their lives, and what they are doing to manage their situation or improve. She’s a good parent read and one I’ll be checking out for awhile.