I guess I’m officially in my late 30’s now. That means my female peers I most frequently interact with at work, in the neighborhood and in the gym are mostly in that mid-30’s to mid-40’s range. It just happens to be I’m not hanging around 18-25 year old women that often. Bummer.
So my female peers basically fall into three categories:
- The “mom” look. In general they may have a youthful face, but dress somewhat shoddily, have shorter hair, or are carrying a few extra pounds (and in some cases, too few pounds… some women I see are way too lean as they overcompensate to the eating disorder or super low fat end of the fat shaming spectrum not realizing many men like a few curves). These women have the potential to bump up their rank, but most never realize it or really care.
- The “gets it” look. These women get what men and their husband want and are still youthful enough and took care of themselves enough when they were younger that they can pull off feminine sexiness. They dress nice, perhaps a little conservatively, but in clothes that accentuate their body type, have long hair, wear enough makeup to cover minor blemishes and in general still have a youthful appearance. This look is less common than you would think since age tends to catch up quicker with women moreso than men. Thankfully, unless my wife is exhausted or run down or sick, she still pulls this look off and compared to categories 1 and 3 knocks ’em dead.
- The “ridden hard and put away wet” look. These are often women who were party girls who were younger, many late nights, drinking, doing drugs, smoking, riding the cock carousel, staying out in the sun too much, etc. They may still have decent bodies, or dress nice (Like category 2 above) but they look like 40 miles of bad road.
While age may catch up to women and men both on how they appear, life choices make a big difference in how fast that happens. Eating right, taking care of your body and other life decisions obviously help a fair amount.
Holly and I were out earlier this week at a half-date, half-networking thing for our industry that we’re both in. It wasn’t well attended, and of the eight or ten people there were only two women: my wife and a vendor rep for another company. Holly looks better now than a couple years ago, with longer hair and a tighter body, and was wearing these painted on dress slacks I was drooling over. Like her mom, her face and skin has aged very well and she’s got a pretty youthful appearance. The other woman was about the same age as Holly, dressed well, had longish hair, and despite a little bit of a small pooch had a decent body as well. However, you could tell she was in the “Ridden Hard” camp. Her face was weathered and once she had a few drinks in her was making goo-goo eyes at a couple of men in attendance, touching their arm, getting really close to the personal space and face, etc. I presume she was unmarried, as she certainly carried herself as such, but don’t know for certain. So same age, two different categories, and I sure was happy I was going home with my wife that night. It always drives home the point that compared to her peers, she’s probably in the top 10% and is doing what she can to keep it that way.
On the drive home, we discussed this a little, and later discussed a little bit of the the Hooking Up Smart post on how waiting for sexual interaction (and having a low partner count) has a stronger correlation with longer term relationships (vs. failing shortly after hooking up). We’ve known others like the “ridden hard” woman and it get’s to be pretty sad to watch. I’m thankful we met and married relatively young (22/25 respectively) and both our partner counts are low (I think we both shared that in the past, but have both forgotten each other’s number, because it must have been low enough to not be concerned). If you look at the patterns that emerge for long-married couples (college educated, married before 30 to name a couple I know off hand) we stand a pretty good chance of being one of those long married couples, which is a centerpiece in both our lives.
The “Ridden Hard” late 30’s woman should be a cautionary tale for younger women not to take their youth and youthful decisions for granted. The clock is ticking for them and either they settle for the ole white knight beta orbiter that will leave you unhaaapy after all the alpha males that have spilled their seed in you, or you end up as the cat lady spinster. Rarely do you end up with Prince Charming Alpha Horse Cock Lawyer Guy at that age.