Happy Memorial Day all. A day to appreciate the sacrifices service men and women, and they’re families, have made so that we may have freedom and allow us to have the way of life we do. We’ll be doing a Crossfit “hero” workout later today which we do from time to time in remembrance of a specific armed service member who died in service to our country. These are often way beyond challenging and are a metaphor for what they go through for us.
My wife Holly and I also inadvertently spent time this weekend in conversations with ourselves and our friends remembering some times early in our relationship (our own personal “memorial” day[s]). I learned, or maybe I forgot, that my wife actually noticed me earlier in the trip that we met on. At this stage of my Red Pill life I’ve discounted the idea of “fate” and “the one” and believe in a much more pragmatic approach… but back then it seemed possible, likely even, that we were destined to meet. It turned out really great for both of us thus far, and revisiting these early relationship touchstones brings these fond memories back to the forefront and help us stay bonded in life’s daily jungle of relationship erosion that wears away the peaks. That, along with frequent sex these days, has helped both of us keep our oxytocin/vasopressin and dopamine tanks pretty well topped off. It’s been a really nice time.
Anyways, in our post-coital time last night we had on Mumford and Sons. I’m not a huge music guy and often just enjoy the music and melody without getting too deep into lyrical meanings of songs. Mumford and Sons’ songs are hauntingly beautiful to me and we listen frequently, though last night when my brain was more free from clutter I actually LISTENED. Little Lion Man struck me with lessons that we all deal with.
Weep for yourself, my man,
You’ll never be what is in your heart
Weep Little Lion Man,
You’re not as brave as you were at the start
We want to be better than what we are right now. We see ourselves as being better than we really are but we really know we are only fooling ourselves, and when we reflect honestly on this we are sorrowful. There are times when we are brave, that we inadvertently tap into our life’s energy, and things can be great. But when we fall back into old patterns, get lazy, gain weight, we’re not as good as we could be and it adversely impacts our relationships, in the case of the song, a specific relationship.
Rate yourself and rake yourself,
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems
That you made in your own head
In evaluating the relationship failings or weak areas, we need to look within and really work at the core of the issues, and not just give lip service to superficial issues. It takes courage and insight to tackle these problems and not to blame others which is so much easier to do. But the problems he’s trying to fix really don’t matter, he’s lost in his own head and could be doing better getting out of it as the issues he thinks isn’t necessarily the cause of the problems.
But it was not your fault but mine
And it was your heart on the line
I really fucked it up this time
Didn’t I, my dear?
Didn’t I, my…
We screw up. It’s our fault, and we need to own this. Admit the problem fix it, and move on. Hopefully the relationship will last despite the specific incident of mess up. The refrain is interesting because it is first person, while the verses are third person, so you could interpret this as being written by a woman, where she was the one who fucked up, maybe cheated even, and is trying to tell her man the truth.
Tremble for yourself, my man,
You know that you have seen this all before
Tremble Little Lion Man,
You’ll never settle any of your scores
Your grace is wasted in your face,
Your boldness stands alone among the wreck
Now learn from your mother or else
Spend your days biting your own neck
We fight the internal struggle to address the core issues, and we are often too weak to deal with this, so we constantly battle the same battles within. I know personally that until you change your core thoughts and beliefs, you can constantly relive the same fight like the movie Groundhog Day, and it can be painful to do so. With these battles of self, or sometimes self obsession, the casualty can be the loss of relationships especially if changes aren’t made. I love the lines “Your grace is wasted in your face, your boldness stands alone among the wreck.” You may have been “right” but at what cost? The final lines are interesting as he needs to learn the lessons that a mother lion teaches her cubs (they bite their neck as they carry the cubs) and to grow up, leave the pride and be a man in his own right. To stop wallowing in self-pity, poor decisions and become a better person. I also like that this song could be about a man’s relationship with a woman, or his father, or even his mother, but I always interpret it as a result of a man-woman relationship that is going through some troubled times as a result of his or her actions. Maybe she cheated, but the relationship had issues to begin with.
Those are my thoughts anyway and I could be TOTALLY off, I don’t have an artistic bone in my body but that’s how my lay-person interpretation reads into that haunting song [banjo starts]
As a married dude, I am one who is constantly working through improvement of inner self, and inner game. And with the little Red Pill knowledge of gender relationships and what is necessary for attraction and leadership, I am constantly removing weak parts and rebuilding areas stronger. I am trying not to get lost in issues of my own head, which we all struggle with, and focus on the more important things in my life, namely my wife and family and self.