So this last week was spent on our modest spring break. As it turns out, I’m glad we didn’t end up planning some grand trip somewhere warm. In total, we dropped around $500 for hotels, meals, entry fees and incidentals. This was planned relatively spur of the moment, but I had vacation planned, and we all needed to get out of the house after what has been a long winter for us. The fact that we could all be together as a family I’m sure helped Holly in her transition to short-term stay-at-home mom who’s role will temporarily change.
We have two really great kids, but even so, a week straight with them, I had to go back to work for half a day to have some peace and quiet (and get unburdened by e-mails so I’d have a productive start to the week back). While they generally get along great, and will spend hours at a time playing, there’s still the semi-constant battle of wills and bickering. Also, the train of thought, and constant chattering can be tiresome as well. LoudBoy especially I compare to a sqawky bird that sits on your shoulder constantly cheeping and chittering away non-stop. You hate to stifle the creative questions and observations going on in his head, but there’s a lot to be said about peace and quiet.
So this spring break we spent some time at a nearby water park, and went to a nearby city to enjoy some museum offerings, hotel and dinner with friends. In the meantime, LoudBoy got strep so we had to delay a couple days which we passed doing small projects and relaxing at home. Overall, very chill and fun spring break spent fully together as a family. Holly’s attitude is very positive and she said her overwhelming reaction after losing her job was relief. They had some internal issues that made working there difficult, and and had already started seeing what other job opportunities were out there (even having a phone interview or two with another company).
Contrast this year with last year when Holly was in full-on work mode. The kids and I piggybacked a Holly work conference in a nearby city with the kids’ spring break. Holly was out with work responsibilities most of two days and nights, so I spent that time with the kids doing the cool local activities like planetarium, museums and aquarium while kicking it at the hotel room and hotel pool. It went fine, but would have been better as a day instead of multiple. Holly for her part tried to do it all. She’d try and hang out with us during conference breaks, and be a fun mom and wife when she didn’t have evening obligations. Unfortunately, it was a tough balancing act. One night, she went out entertaining clients, came back to the hotel a little too drunk. We started having sex and she passed out in the middle of it. Oops 🙂
Anyway, she’s a high achiever type person, much like myself, and I don’t see her being a Peg Bundy eating bon-bons and watching soap operas while the kids are at school. She’s already in full-on SniperNinjaConan job hunt mode and exploring her options. Worst case is that she doesn’t find a job for awhile and ends up hanging with the kids over the summer at our neighborhood pool. Heck, maybe that would be best case.
I guess I never gave a lot of thoughts to having a wife that worked and really left it to her discretion. My wife is a good mom, and definitely struggled with going back to work after the kids were born. At the same time, I was not entirely sure she could have been comfortable with being “Just” a stay-at-home mom. As such, like many working moms, she struggled (and I think continues to do so) with the balance. I know she’s excited to meet the school bus at the end of the day, and about the remote possibility that maybe the summer may be spent with them, but we do and did spend a lot of time together as a family and had a good balance between parenting and jobs.
After taking the red pill and reading other blogs by women and men both, I think my views have swung some into the having mom home is a good thing camp. I think if my job paid more, some sort of compromise on full-time employment could be made. She’d always be volunteering and doing her side hustle and maybe even some part time consulting or contract employment, so it wouldn’t be the “mom who focuses only on herself when the kids are at school” type mother. We’re not quite there yet, though we are in uncharted territory as it is.
We talked a little last night that now that she’s a stay at home mom, we should look at the bright side and all the home cooked meals she can now do, a tidy house, more time as a full family and not being tired so more sexy times can be had. She laughed a little at the full picture I painted, and had a hard time swallowing the “stay at home mom” term, but can envision many of these things coming to fruition. Her “job” during the day will be finding a job and applying for jobs. Working her networks and keeping up with the industry and possibly even taking classes will keep her pretty busy. It will be interesting to see how her focus that was previously spent on work stresses and thoughts get redirected to me and the kids, and what, if any differences we’ll see. Also, since we shared duties, I’m curious to see how I’ll deal with letting go of some of the things I often took control on to keep the family running smoothly since we both worked.
Also, something I just thought of: I work close enough to home, I’m thinking some nooners are a possibility as well. I’m picturing her in her house-dress and feather duster puttering around until I enter for a lunch visit and push her against the counter, dress hiked and …. Ok, it’s time to get my head on straight and get something productive done.