This is already a little dated as many good posts were already done last week on the Patreaus situation:
I’m not here to rehash that stuff, just to get into the whole aging thing and remaining attractive to your spouse. Getting old sucks, both Holly and I are closer to 40 than 30, and even though we take care of ourselves chinks are starting to show in our armor. Holly and Birdsnest spent one afternoon looking at old family photos as part of a school project. Birdsnest apparently said I looked like I was in High School when she was born (I was 29) and now look “old”. :SadFace: I still look and mostly feel young for my age (still get carded many places) but I’m not 20 anymore. I remember the first time I looked at my dad and saw him as “old”, with deeper wrinkles and weathered skin. He was about 45 years old. Bottom line, it isn’t fun to feel like you’re still young and to have a face and body that is aging.
We all age differently, some is genetics, some is our lifestyle. In my own demographic, the men generally hold up pretty well, as men tend to do. The women are all over the board. There’s some that have totally thrown in the towel, some who are aging really well (like my wife), and some who I call “hot messes” that may take care of themselves fairly well but who’s faces look stretched and puffy and weathered. I think for my wife, she’s simply got good genetics, her mom still has a younger looking face, which is a good sign. I think there’s not much the hot messes can do about the face so they maximize what they can and are probably still pretty hot to their husbands (especially compared to the manatees that populate my state). What else can they do?
Anyway, I’d like to bring this back on point now with the Patraeus thing. Like a man, I think David has aged pretty well (Aged 59 taken last year I believe).
Now compare that to his wife:
You’ve all seen photos of his mistress, and I think it’s not fair to compare the two. The Chateau Heariste post above breaks it down pretty well comparing a relative “10” who’s coming on hard, to a wife who’s a relative “1” by comparison, it’s hard to compete. So I wanted to give some other examples of similar aged women so we can all learn something and hopefully shoot for maximizing our own “rank” to our spouses as we continue to age and to look good against others in our own age demographic.
What not to shoot for. Here you have George and Barbara Bush, aged 65.
Barbara looks like the Queen of England who’s wearing a table cloth or a duvet cover. Like Austin Power’s says:
What to shoot for: Now compare that to Laura Bush
Laura is still looking pretty solid here at a similar age to the Barbara photo, doesn’t have the body of Michelle Obama (aged 44 here), but not bad for someone in their 60’s. I think she’d look better with longer hair, but dresses her age and with style. Not like Holly Patraeus who Charteu describes as: “potato sack poster wife for Puritan living”, and “Miss Massachusetts 1687”. A little harsh but true.
We’re dealt the hand we’re dealt, but we can still put in the effort to maximize how we look, and that goes for both men and women. This means eating right, working out, limiting drinking, dressing well, teeth whitener, make-up, nails, longer hair for women, etcetera etcetera. You’ve all read that before. You’ll never look like you’re 20, but your rank relative to others your own age will continue to go up as others make less effort.
Plus, if Mrs. Patreaus was a tiger in the sack and was more Lois Griffin on her man, the likelihood the wife goggles would have been stronger is possible. Wife goggles allow for some slippage in other areas, because if you’re still doing it like bunnies (e.g. a fun and engaging partner who enjoys sex instead of a lights-off let’s get it over with type, also: Blow Jobs, we men really like blow jobs and when our eyes roll to the back of our head we tend to see you in a pretty good light), are feminine in appearance (e.g. thinner, dress well, made up, maybe hair dyed if appropriate and looks good, etc. vs. a fat, short-haired cow in sweatpants) and a good doting partner, he’s still going to be getting that dopamine fix to keep those goggles fully powered even though usurpers may be waiting in the wings. Blog Staked in the Heart did a post about how if you’re 45 and looking for a man you need to have many of the qualities I’m talking about. Nice post here: Don’t be a crazy cat lady. (Also her Patreus post is here. )If Mrs. P let Mr. P be a wimpy man at home, drip fed him sex and looked like a zero, she should have known he’d be open to an affair from a hard charging woman on a mission. Doesn’t excuse that behavior, the dude sucked to have done that, but Mrs. P left the door open and didn’t mate guard that well.
And with that, I’ll leave you with some inspiration to how to look in your 60’s and to further show you don’t have to frump it up, like Mrs. P did.
Notice long hair, pretty in shape. Not much style but occasion didn’t call for it.
Notice nails done, dressed nice, in shape.
Obviously models, but she’s still well made up with nice style, thin and medium-long hair.
NOTE: It was damn hard finding couples in their 60’s that wasn’t an ad for viagra or something like that. It’s the best I could come up with without devoting a lot of effort. I’m sure “real” couples (like the second one) are going to look a little worse, but aim for the Laura Bush ladies, men make an effort to get in shape and both sides will be much happier as the wrinkles continue to grow.