Oh shit, you forgot All Hollows’ Eve, and you have parties to go to this weekend? Crap, what can you throw together at the last minute? Well allow old AMD to help you out!
I’m not a big fan of pun costumes, but here’s a few if you’re really, really desperate:
- chick magnet – tape pictures of models from your wife’s Vogue to a black shirt, black pants
- fork in the road – black shirt, yellow dashed lines cut-out, taped to look like a road, add a plastic fork
- pumpkin pie – orange shirt, greek “Pi” symbol cut out and taped to your shirt
Justin Timberlake/Andy Samberg Dick in a Box
Need: “sexy” shirt, gold chain, sunglasses, chinstrap style beard (pencil on with eyeliner or costume makeup if you don’t actually wear the chin strap beard), black pants, box, wrapping paper.
Alternative: UPS Man and his “package”. Same concept, just dress in brown like a UPS man; fake UPS name tag; box wrapped in brown paper.
God’s Gift to Women
Need: wrapping paper, tape, a tag with “To: Women, From: God”
Milkman and Mom
This is one you do with your wife our girlfriend, playing off on the old school idea of mom sleeping with the milkman.
Need: white clothes, white hat, a bottle or container or basket of milk. She dresses like a pretty housewife, but with a pillow under her dress to show she’s pregnant.
Brick and Brick Layer
Similar to the previous one, a couples costume. Wife is wearing a box colored like a brick. Husband a “Brick Layer” with masonry tools.
Get some white coveralls or a tyvek type suit used for a variety of gigs. Bring along a sharpy magic marker and have people sign you. Nice ice breaker too!
Head in a Jar
This one’s pretty cool, easier for kids, but adults could pull it off too, but you’ll need some supplies: Large plastic jug from all those cheese puffs you like so much, a long black trenchcoat (the longer and larger the better, think Lurch style), a backpack to support the shoulders structure that will tower over you. May take some planning, and you probably don’t need to show the bloody neck stump (just close up the top) but should look something like this:
And if you’re a woman, the world is your oyster. Holly went one year as a nurse at a sperm bank, complete with scrubs, a clipboard to take “donors'” information, a Playboy and the nametag: E.Jackie Later. She’s pretty clever. But a slutty [insert anything here] is the go to costume for women.
As a fan of “The Christmas Story” I loved this costume:
..and finally, let’s not forget man’s best friend this Halloween (picture is not Dum Dum by the way)